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During Learning New Things About Ourselves, Logan and Roman have an argument in the background of other dialogue. The original dialogue during their argument was released in the Behind the Scenes video belonging to it. The transcript still only contains the dialogue audible during the video, but here is the transcript of Logan and Roman's argument.

[Logan]: Oh, but you can talk to them?

[Roman]: Yes! To clear up YOUR bad behavior!

[Logan]: MY bad behavior? MY bad behavior?

[Roman]: You know how our arguments should always go, Logan?

Mano a mano! Unless you're not man-o enough to handle it!

[Logan]: Wow! Uh... d- Wow!

That... it would be laughable, if it weren't so... pathetic.

[Roman]: You want Thomas to meet deadlines regardless of the video's quality!

Unacceptable!

[Logan]: I... I try...

I try to bring an honest end to our back and forth

and you treat it as a personal attack.

Why am I not surprised?

I'm not, because this is how you handle ALL spats,

a- every single one of them, or even just general... just disagreements in general.

[Roman]: You act like you're so helpful. (Sarcastic) Sure you are, Logan...

[Logan]: Yes, I do think that I am quite helpful, actually.

If you think that helpful is synonymous with "essential to the group", which it isn't, by the way.

[Roman]: (Sarcastic) You're so generous. And I'll tell you what. You're also a genuinely, frustrating, dude.

If this is generosity, then you must be Sanders Claus, and B*tchmas came early this year!

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry B*tchmas, everyone!

Let's all gather around the fire roasting chestnuts and hanging up stockings on the mantel place, hiding in our little beds and dream of sugar plums at night...

I don't know why I am speaking in sort of a country accent now.

Because it's B*tchmas! Don't forget to kiss under the B*tchletoe.

[Logan]: Wow! Even I don't have the vocabulary to describe what I am feeling inside, but for me it's very unordinary!

[Roman]: ...you're running out into the snow, maybe making yourself a little Snowb*tch, he comes to life... Wow!

The magic of the season!

Then all of us have a snowb*tch fight! I'm go... I'm running with this metaphor! 'Cause I'm on it now!

[Logan]: You are behaving like a child!

[Roman]: No one can b*tch any mas than you, Logan!

Based on the bleeps and occasional instances in Learning New Things About Ourselves when the argument is audible, it is possible to approximate when during the video this dialogue falls. However, it is important to note that the argument in Learning New Things About Ourselves is half as long as the argument shown in the behind the scenes video. This means that the audio in the background of Learning New Things About Ourselves is sped up to be twice as fast as the original. In the following approximated combined transcript the bold sections are what is heard in Learning New Things About Ourselves.

[Roman]: You know how are our arguments should always go, Logan?

Roman: Mano a mano! Unless you're not man-o enough to handle it!)

(Logan: Wow! Uh... d- Wow!

That... it would be laughable, if it weren't so... pathetic.)

(Roman: You want Thomas to meet deadlines regardless of the video's quality!)

[Patton]: (To Viewers) Uhh, hey kids, daddy and daddy are just having a little discussion. That's all. Just focus on daddy and everything will be A-OK, here we go!

[Thomas]: Uh, Guys..

[Patton]: -gasps- I know that face. My child is returning...

(Roman: Unacceptable!)

[Virgil]: -grumbling-

[Thomas]: Virgil's here! It's not a party...

(Logan: I... I try...

I try to bring an honest end to our back and forth

and you treat it as a personal attack.

Why am I not surprised?

I'm not, because this is how you handle ALL spats,

a- every single one of them, or even just general... just disagreements in general.)

... until I have anxiety.

[Virgil]: Thomas, you have got to do something about this!

[Thomas]: Do something about what?

(Roman: You act like you're so helpful. (Sarcastic) Sure you are, Logan…)

(Logan: Yes, I do think that I am quite helpful, actually.

If you think that helpful is synonymous with "essential to the group", which it isn't, by the way.)

(Roman: (Sarcastic) You're so generous. And I'll tell you what. You're also a genuinely, frustrating, dude.)

[Virgil]: Are you kidding?

[Thomas]: But... this is what they always do. You know that. (background bleep)

(Roman: If this is generosity, then you must be Sanders Claus,

and B*tchmas came early this year!

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry B*tchmas, everyone!

Let's all gather around the fire roasting chestnuts and hanging up stockings

on the mantel place, hiding in our little beds and dream of sugar plums at night…)

[Thomas]: I mean, I thought they had it a little figured out a bit ago...They had that one debate (bleep) that ended pretty well, and heck they sang a song together!

(Roman:I don't know why I am speaking in sort of a country accent now.

Because it's B*tchmas! Don't forget to kiss under the B*tchletoe.)

(Logan: Wow! Even I don't have the vocabulary to describe what I am feeling inside, but for me it's very unordinary!)

[Virgil]: Yeah, I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say maybe - MAYBE - there's still some things to work out.

[Patton]: Right! Like confronting his feelings, which is what I was saying! Thank you, you shadowy, but angelic songbird!

[Virgil]: You got it, Pop Star.

[Patton]: -deep gasp- (High-pitched) You gave me a dad-themed nickname!

[Thomas]: Guys I don't know what you're talking about, this is pretty par (bleep) for the course.

(Roman: ...you're running out into the snow, maybe making yourself a little Snowb*tch, he comes to life... Wow!)

[Thomas]: Sure, it's not ideal. But I don't know if it's (bleep) a (bleep) big deal either.

(Roman: The magic of the season!

Then all of us have a snowb*tch fight! I'm go... I'm running with this metaphor! 'Cause I'm on it now!)

(Logan: You are behaving like a child!)

(Roman: No one can b*tch any mas than you, Logan!)

[Roman]: Oh! And another thing-

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