Sanders Sides Wiki

[Thomas]: -holds up Pokéball- What's this? 2016 has evolved into 2017! Or devolved. We don't know yet. We're gonna find out together.


[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! Welp, another year has come and gone. So long, 2016! And you know, despite all the cruddy things that happened during this past year, I have to be thankful for all the things I was able to accomplish. I got to hang out with the Teen Titans.


[Greg Cipes (Beast Boy)]: Teen Titans?

[Thomas]: Hi, you guys live in a secret base?

[Greg Cipes]: Totally secret, bruh.

[Thomas]: Then why is it a building shaped like a gigantic T?

[Greg Cipes]: Didn't think about that...

[Thomas]: No, you didn't.

*different vine*

[Khary Payton (Cyborg)]: BOO YAHH!!!!

[Tara Strong (Raven)]: Azarath metrion ZINTHOS!

[Thomas]: So cool! Robin, what can you do?

[Scott Menville (Robin)]: I can say, TITANS GO!!! Yeah?

[Thomas]: Great...

*back to video*

[Thomas]: I got really obsessed with Hamilton, and then I bothered some of the original cast.


[Thomas]: Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?

[Leslie Odom Jr.]: That depends, who's asking?

[Thomas]: Okay, you don't have to be rude. I'm just a big fan. Sorry.

*different vine*

[Thomas]: Have you heard the Hamilton mixtape? Have you heard the Hamilton mixtape? Have you heard the new Hamilton mixtape?

[Anthony Ramos]: Dude, yes!

*back to video*

[Thomas]: I got to have fun with some of the Crystal Gems and Steven Universe.


[Thomas]: Who ate my fries? Lapis?

[Jennifer Paz (Lapis Lazuli)]: I don't like fries.

[Thomas]: Pearl?

[Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl)]: I don't like food!

[Thomas]: Steven?

[Zach Callison (Steven Universe)]: It was Amethyst!

[Michaela Dietz (Amethyst)]: Yeah, it was!

[Thomas]: UGHHHH!!!

*back to video*

[Thomas]: I got to go to the Tonys, got to travel to different countries, I performed at VidCon, I went to Playlist and had a huge birthday surprise thrown for me on stage, I won a Streamy award, I collabed with soooo many of my YouTube heroes, AND I went on tour with my first original musical and met so many of you guys across seventeen different cities in the US and Canada! Whooooo! -gasps for air- So, the question remains: What comes next?

[Logic]: -pops up- Good question!

[Thomas]: OOHkay, my logical side is back, everyone.

[Logic]: It's the beginning of the year, which means we...

[Logic & Thomas]: ...make New Year's resolutions.

[Logic]: Very good.

[Thomas]: Well, I was just thinking, like, goals to set this year for my videos.

[Logic]: Good videos come when we set a better lifestyle for ourselves, Thomas. Now, what are some steps we can take to achieve this?

[Thomas]: Ummmm...

[Morality]: Really? -pops up- Can't think of one?

[Logic]: Now, w-wait a second, this is my turn! This is the video where I come to help!

[Morality]: Except I've already gone through this. Hey, Dad here. I represent Thomas' morality—

[Logic]: Oh, come on!

[Morality]: What about learning to cook? And all those other steps towards proper adultery?

[Thomas]: That's not the word. That-that doesn't mean becoming an adult.

[Morality]: Yeah, well, whatever the word is, don't you think that's something to work towards this year?

[Logic]: Excuse me, but we were just working out what he needs to focus on this year, which in my opinion, is expanding your mind. Good content will only come to your viewers if you educate yourself.

[Thomas]: Yeah...

[Morality]: Well, that's all well and good, but how is he supposed to do that when he still needs to work on eating right and taking care of himself more?

[Thomas]: Yeah, I gotta do that too...

[Logic]: He can do that just fine! He's severely lacking in the knowledge department!

[Thomas]: Well...

[Logic]: He's cooked in the kitchen plenty of times since you've talked to him.

[Morality]: Has he now? -laughs- Well, I might need to see some proof of that. Should we dust the stove for prints?

[Princey]: -pops up- Did someone say Prince?

[Logic]: Noooooo!

[Morality]: Heyyyy!

[Thomas]: Wow, okay, so my fanciful side is here too now.

[Princey]: Thomas, as you know, I am your hopes and dreams, and you need to dedicate this year to doing all the things you've ever dreamed of! Travel more! Act more! Create more!

[Logic]: But how can he do that without knowledge?!

[Morality]: Or a healthy way of living?

[Princey]: I get what you two are saying, and I do care about that. But here's the thing: I don't really care about that.

[Logic]: OH, my goodness gracious! I can't believe—

[Morality]: The basic, essential things that you need to learn—

*Overlapping speech*

[Thomas]: -trying to get his emotions to agree and be peaceful for once-

[Anxiety]: -pops up- So, isn't this nice.

[Thomas]: Oh, good, my anxiety, right on time.

[Princey]: What are you doing back here?

[Anxiety]: All these emotions and thoughts in complete turmoil? How could I not show up at this party?

[Logic]: Unbelievable. This was totally supposed to be my video.

[Anxiety]: Get over it. You're the least popular character, and you know it.

[Thomas]: -clicks tongue- Ooooh...

[Morality]: -cough, repressed giggle-

[Princey]: -very short giggle- Curse you for making me laugh.

[Anxiety]: This whole thing just amuses me, because you're gonna waste all this time picking out goals for the new year, what you need to start doing, or stop doing, and in a month, probably less, it's all gonna be for nothing. You're gonna stop trying and go right back to before. It's all meaningless.

[Thomas]: Nuh-uh!

[Anxiety]: Yuh-huh!

[Princey]: We've got this. He'll definitely stay true.

[Logic]: Well, looking at facts, we have been pretty bad about sticking to goals in the past.

[Morality]: Can't lie about that.

[Anxiety]: See? You know it's true.

[Princey]: Ugh... I do not like you.

[Thomas]: Well, this year it could be different, right? Right?

*song begins*

[Thomas]: ♪ I'll cut out carbs to lose some weight. ♪

[Logic]: That's a lie.

[Thomas]: ♪ I won't go to bed so late. ♪

[Morality]: LIE!

[Thomas]: ♪ I won't be so shy to date. ♪

[Logic]: Lie.

[Thomas]: ♪ I won't do so much riffing. ♪

[Princey]: -riffing- ♪ Lieeeeeee. ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ I will go to the gym and get real strong. ♪

[Morality]: Lie!

[Thomas]: ♪ All my work I won't prolong. ♪

[Logic]: Hah! Lie.

[Thomas]: ♪ I'll stick to goals the whole year long. ♪

[Morality]: Another lie!

[Thomas]: ♪ I won't sing so many Disney songs. ♪

[Princey]: You're kidding, right?

[Anxiety]: ♪ Let's face the facts and come to terms. It's time to realize... These goals are only merely hope we quickly leave behind. They're lies, lies, lies, lies, lieeeeees! ♪


[Anxiety]: Give it up. Resolutions are nothing more than empty promises to yourself. Shouldn't even try.

[Thomas]: Okay, maybe thinking big like that is not the way to go, but resolutions don't have to be big, they can be reasonable.

*song continues*

[Thomas]: ♪ I could cook a meal or four. ♪

[Morality]: True...

[Thomas]: ♪ Keep my clothes neater in my drawer. ♪

[Princey]: True.

[Thomas]: ♪ Improve my credit score. ♪

[Logic]: So true.

[Thomas]: ♪ Tell my loved ones that I love them more. ♪

[Morality]: That's cute!

[Thomas]: ♪ There's a book I've meant to read. ♪

[Logic]: True.

[Thomas]: ♪ Do my best to do good deeds. ♪

[Morality]: -gasp- True!

[Thomas]: ♪ Take the time for me I need. ♪

[Princey]: Too true!

[Thomas]: ♪ Follow less and take a lead! ♪

[Anxiety]: ♪ Don't kid yourself, you know your year can't be that sublime. ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ You may be right, but I'll prove you wrong. We'll both find out in time if they're lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeees. ♪

[Logic, Morality, & Princey]: -harmonizing- ♪ Ooooo... ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ They could be lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeeees. ♪

[Logic, Morality, & Princey]: -harmonizing- ♪ Ooooo... ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ I won't let them be lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeeeees. ♪

[Logic, Morality, & Princey]: -harmonizing- ♪ Ooooo... ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ I'm doing fine. ♪

*song ends; tune continues lightly in background*

[Anxiety]: You sicken me. You can't always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems.

[Princey]: I disagree.

[Thomas]: So long, Anxiety.

[Anxiety]: Ugh, it's gonna be stuck in my head all day. -sinks out-

[Thomas]: So, the bottom line here is to start with little things to work on.

[Logic]: And then go from there.

[Morality]: No pressure either way.

[Princey]: Even a little progress is progress.

[Thomas]: This I can work with. Thank you—

[Logic]: Ah!

*background music abruptly stops*

[Logic]: Wait! Okay, you get out.

[Princey]: Uh.

[Logic]: -quickly- Yep. No-n-n-nope. Just get out- all right- great- fantas- sink down- perfect- sink down- there you go- right.

[Princey]: Mm? Oh, oh... well alright... I guess... -sinks out-

[Logic]: Alright, now you— fantastic— go ahead...

[Morality]: Me too? Well, I was gonna—

[Logic]: Oh, no, no, no- no witty quip, no dad joke, just sink down.

[Morality]: No? I was gonna—

[Logic]: Sink- perfect- sink d- perfect.

[Morality]: -confused- Uh- wh- yes... -sinks out-

[Logic]: Alright, great. -To Thomas- Okay, continue.

[Thomas]: Thank you?

[Logic]: You're WELCOME! See, this was MY video, I helped, just me, no one else. -sinks out-

[Thomas]: Alright, -to viewers- well now that THAT'S all settled, I hope all of you figure out some nice, achievable goals to work on for this year. And until next time, take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT—

[Morality]: Hey! -pops back up- My New Year's resolution is 1080p! -chuckles-

[Logic]: -pops back up- Doh, COME ON!

*end card*

[Thomas]: Big thank you to my friend Chris for helping to create that little ditty, he's an absolute musical magic man, and all his information is down in the description below. And THANK you, to all of you guys for making this past year so utterly AMAZING! And here's to an awesome new year.

*new scene*

[Princey]: Hey Anxiety, if you had to have a New Year’s resolution, what would it be?

[Anxiety]: -tongue clicks- Probably to find darker eye shadow to better match my soul.

[Princey]: YOU are an EMO NIGHTMARE.

[Anxiety]: -tongue clicks- Thank you.

Transcriptsv · d · e
Season 1 My True Identity! · WAY TOO ADULT · Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!! · A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! · The Dark Side of Disney! · I'M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! · The MIND vs. The HEART! · Alone on VALENTINE'S DAY! · Losing My Motivation · Sanders Sides Q&A · AM I ORIGINAL? · My NEGATIVE Thinking · Growing Up · Making Some Changes! · Becoming a CARTOON! feat. Butch Hartman! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?
Season 2 Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!) · MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia · MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup · The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! · Can LYING Be Good?? · Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · Crofters - THE MUSICAL! Learning New Things About Ourselves · EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas! · Selfishness v. Selflessness · Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS · Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux
Sanders Asides Are There Healthy Distractions? · Flirting with Social Anxiety · Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts
Extras BLOOPER REEL! · Sanders Sides - BEHIND THE SCENES Q&A! · BLOOPER REEL!! The Bloop Strikes Back! · Behind the Scenes Featurette: Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · 5 Sanders Sides Behind the Scenes Facts (Learning New Things About Ourselves)