Transcripts/Am I ORIGINAL?

[Thomas]: So, a lot of people ask me how I do what I do. Well, I don't know, all I can tell you is it all comes from right up here... I have a rat that hides in my hair and directs my every move just like in the movie Ratatouille.

*logo*

[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?! Today, I thought we might try something a little bit new and exciting, I think you're all going to enjoy this, I am going to tell you my life's story, BUT I'm gonna do it through illustrations! And I'm calling it... *pop* "Sketch My Autobiography".

[Anxiety]: Please tell me you're joking.

[Thomas]: Ugh, what, Anxiety, what do you have to say now?

[Anxiety]: That's literally a copy of what is known as a "Draw my Life". You just slapped a different name onto it.

[Thomas]: Ohh, I thought it felt familiar. Okay, well I'll j- I'll just call it a Draw my Life.

[Anxiety]: Boring.

[Thomas]: What do you mean "Boring?" It's my life!

[Anxiety]: I know what I said.

[Thomas]: -noise of strong disapproval-

[Anxiety]: And on top of that, do you reeeally want to make something that's been done before? Do you think that's what THEY want to see?

[Thomas]: Well... I don't know...

[Anxiety]: I'm gonna go ahead and say no.

[Thomas]: Unh, why are you being like this? You were so chill the last couple of videos...

[Anxiety]: Sometimes I just gotta be me...nuh. (sounds like mean)

[Thomas]: UGHHH... I wanna be mad, but you're right, the idea is not original.

[Anxiety]: No.

[Thomas]: -makes noise of frustration- What am I gonna do now?

[Anxiety]: One option- and I'm just throwing this out there, is to... hide under the covers until the sun goes away.

[Princey]: Not so fast, my chemically imbalanced romance!

[Thomas]: PRINCEY!

[Anxiety]: Oh good... Prince Underarms-stink.

[Thomas]: That is an uncharacteristically schoolyard insult, Anxiety.

[Princey]: Yeah, that was hardly inventive.

[Anxiety]: Creativity is not my department.

[Princey]: So Negative Nancy over here struck down the idea I gave you, is that correct?

[Thomas]: I think so.

[Anxiety]: Chalk one up for me.

[Princey]: I'm gonna need you to be REAL quiet right now because you just earned the number one slot in my dun-zo list today.

[Anxiety]: Dun-zo list?

[Princey]: We're dun-zo.

[Thomas]: -looks at Princey oddly-

[Princey]: Okay, Thomas, that idea may not have made the grade but, never fear! Your CREATIVITY is here!

[Thomas]: You think we can come up with something that's new AND exciting?

[Princey]: Of course, I can! I've always been here, fighting for you! Your happiness is my mission! Do you trust me?

[Thomas]: What?

[Princey]: Do you trust me?

[Thomas]: I don't know...

[Princey]: SEE! Why not? You have kept me in the backseat for the past two Sanders Sides videos and that is criminal! You try to create art, but you shackle your creativity.

[Thomas]: Oh, I don't think that's fair, you were always there playing a role.

[Princey]: A ROLE?! I am not some bread roll to hold you over while you wait for your dinner! I am the main course!

[Anxiety]: Oy...

[Princey]: I ask you this Thomas, allow me the chance to really prove myself! Grant me full creative control!

[Thomas]: ...You're my creativity. You have all the creative control.

[Anxiety]: No, he is talking about full-on "daydream mode", La La Land.

[Princey]: Not the time for movie references! But yes, precisely.

[Thomas]: Oh. Uhhhh. I don't-

[Princey]: If you trust me to handle this, I will be unimpeded. It will be an all-out BRAINSTORMING EXTRAVAGANZA!

[Thomas]: Well, if it can get us that idea...

[Princey]: (makes claw hands) Pew, pew. Brainstormmm.

[Thomas]: All right, let's do it.

[Princey]: YEEEESSSS!

[Anxiety]: Oh, come on!

[Princey]: First, we're gonna need all the players, so... LOGIC! MORALITY! Now we're ready.

[Logan]: I'm confused.

[Thomas]: Let me bring you up to speed, I gave Princey a little bit more creative control so that we can drum up a good idea for the video.

[Logan]: Wait- that means this is "daydream mode"!?Why am I here? I play no part in this.

[Princey]: Sucks, does it not?

[Morality]: Well I'm just glad that when you called me, I had my pants on.

*looks down*...No, I don't.

[Thomas]: Uh-oh.

[Princey]: OH- I'm so sorry.

[Morality]: I'll be right back.

[Princey]: Since I'm calling the shots, I need you and Moralityand even "Jason Toddler" over there, to assist me.

[Anxiety]: I don't agree to this.

[Princey]: Too bad. Alright, LET US-

[Morality]: Got my pants!

[Princey]: -BEGIN! Now, the video could use a little change of pace, maybe a different format. What's hot with the kids these days?

[Morality]: KNIVES!

[Thomas]: ... What?

[Morality]: They use hot knives! To cut things.

[Princey]: Oh- What?

[Thomas]: Oh, my, wow.

[Morality]: Yeah, the stuff is on fire, and the knife is GLOWING RED,

[Princey]: I'm glad you brought up something that has already been done, because THAT is a good example... of a horrible suggestion.

[Morality]: Oh...

[Princey]: We are going for "pure originality"

[Logan]: Um, do you understand how rare that is?

[Princey]: Shhhhhhhhhh...

[Thomas]: Shhhhh...

[Princey]: But maybe we don't need to know what's popular with the kids these days. Maybe, THAT'S all part of the fun! Perhaps, we can be sat down, and introduced to these new and zany crazes and the viewers would get to see our first responses upon seeing them!

*new scene* (studio similar to kids react)

[Morality]: What is going on here?

[Logan]: They appear to be transferring yogurt from one person's mouth to the other, via straw.

[Princey]: OH! I've heard of this before! It's called "yogurt-ing".-laughs-I've actually tried this myself.

[Anxiety]: Is this why Princey spit yogurt at me yesterday?

[Morality]: Wait a second! *end scene* (back to Thomas’ living room) That's Kids React!

[Thomas]: Yep. That was definitely Kids React from the Fine Bros channel. I was in a few of their videos!

[Logan]: Not to mention the countless other reaction channels and the fact that Thomas has already done several reaction videos himself.

[Princey]: Are you serious?

[Logan]: I'm always serious. Clearly. I wear a necktie.

[Morality]: Serious people wear neckties.

[Thomas]: Okay, well I think you're onto something with the changing format. I DID like that.

[Anxiety]: Don't encourage him.

[Princey]: NO. DO encourage me! I am heading this all up. Right now, I wear the pants in this household.

[Morality]: Oh, you do? I didn't know that.

[Logan]: No, no, no, no, don't-

[Thomas]: It's an expression.

[Princey]: Okay, so the viewers like it when you talk to the different aspects of your personality. BUT... What if those aspects got to talk directly to the viewer about what they're really thinking?

[Thomas]: Hm...

[Morality]: Oooohh!

[Princey]: Anytime one of us needed to talk directly to the viewer, it would cut to us, in a separate confessional. And it could be done in sort of a quirky, off the cuff, let me just make up a word right now, mockumentary fashion.

[Logan]: T-That's...

[Anxiety]: The Office.

[Thomas]: That's The Office.

[Morality]: And Parks and Recreation. And Modern Family. And the British version of The Office.

*office style cut away*

[Princey]: I knew it was already a thing. I love The Office. And I love Parks and Rec. I referenced to it earlier with the whole Dun-zo list thing. But come on! I am trying here! I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular persona. Especially Anxiety. He is being a real-

[Thomas]: Are you really doing a cutaway right now?

*end cut away*

[Princey]: I'm sorry, I just had to try it out.

[Thomas]: It's fine, we're just on a time limit.

[Anxiety]: What were you saying over there?

[Princey]: Nothing!

[Logan]: Alright, well. Do you have an original idea yet, since that was what you were so keen on?

[Princey]: I'm getting to it, Logan!

[Logan]: This is what we get for making him the leader.

[Princey]: What is with your attitude?

[Logan]: I am simply positing that if you sanction some input from the rest of us-

[Princey]: No! I am in charge! This is Daydream mode!

[Morality]: Come on now, Slugger. No need for fighting.

[Princey]: Wait. That's it. FIGHTING!

[Thomas]: Wha- I- We all know I am not a fighter.

[Morality]: You're a lover.

[Thomas]: S-Sure.

[Morality]: He doesn't make hate, he makes LOVE!

[Thomas]: Okay, um...

[Princey]: I'm not saying that we fight physically. Although I certainly would win.

[Anxiety]: Ugh.

[Princey]: I'm proposing that we fight VERBALLY!

[Thomas]: How is that better?

[Morality]: That also sounds not good.

[Princey]: Oh, I'm talking about lyrical dueling.

[Morality]: Oh, like in 8 Mile!

[Princey]: Yes!

[Anxiety]: How do you know about 8 Mile?

[Princey]: Logic! How about it?

[Logan]: Well...

[Princey]: Too bad! You're doing it.

*Muffled shouting*

*music starts*

[Joan]: AGGRESSIVE BOUTS OF BEAT POETRY! LOGAN VS. PRINCEY GO!

[Princey]: Ladies, Lords, and Non-Binary Royalty. Watch me as I beat this geek and do it joyously. I'll vanquish any villain with the gall to try to toy with me. Ask the Dragon Witch; she knows the drill. You're screwed royally!

[Logan]: Stricken with clairvoyancy, events occurred as I'd foreseen. Your verse was weak, your rapping stinks. Flamboyantly employing these trisyllabic rhymes? PSSH! I can match that easily. I'll beat you every time. So, you do not want beef with me, Princey... I drown out lesser emcees when I flow. There's no avoiding me... Under pressure, I rise up. Holler at your buoyancy!

(Morality: Woo!)

[Logan]: Diadems are worn on Capita. I had this battle on lock like Attica! You're through. Go home, Princey. Pack it up. I claimed to be the better bardAnd I backed it up!

*end music*

[Thomas]: Wow.

[Princey]: Wher-where did that come from?

[Logan]: I have an appreciation for poetry.

[Morality]: Ahhhhh!

[Anxiety]: Well, it would be an opportunity missed not to acknowledge that there is an actual rapper named Logic, and that was surprising.

[Thomas]: Yeah...

[Anxiety]: But, that was clearly just a copy of Epic Rap Battles of History.

[Logan]: Yes, I was going to point that out. But I didn't want to miss this opportunity.

[Morality]: Gee, Teach you really SCHOOLED him!

[Logan]: And you're next, I have just decided.

[Princey]: Ugh! You're right, it's been done!

[Morality]: Oh, come on. I mean, you lost, but that was still fun to watch!

[Anxiety]: If it's not original, haven't we all lost?

[Thomas]: Play nice.

[Logan]: It's not original, that's a fact. There is already a channel dedicated to exclusively creating battle rap content.

[Princey]: Alright, do you have a better idea?

[Logan]: Well- *changes into Sherlock outfit*

[Princey]: Nope! You already did that in the motivation video! And that is based on Sherlock!

[Logan]: *changes back* Darn.

[Princey]: See? It's not so easy, you commoners.

[Morality]: Okay, well maybe we can go off what is fun for you, Thomas. What do you enjoy doing?

[Thomas]: I mean, video games.

[Princey]: Video games? Of course. It's so simple. I can't believe I haven't thought of it before. You can just, record yourself playing video games and making silly commentary like so:

*new scene* (gameplay of Goat Simulator with Morality’s face-cam in the corner)

[Morality]: Alright, kids! Welcome back. In today's video, I'll be taking on a little silly game involving a... goat? -giggles-Who comes up with this stuff? Oh... Wow, I am ba-a-a-a-d at this game. That was a sheep.

*end scene*

[Thomas]: Stop.

[Morality]: Aww...

[Princey]: Oh, don't tell me...

[Thomas]: Yeah, that's kind of a thing too.

[Anxiety]: Let's plays.

[Logan]: Some of the most popular Youtubers do let's plays.

[Morality]: Well then maybe we should join in the fun!

[Princey]: No! It has to be original!

[Anxiety]: You tried, you failed, let's go to sleep.

[Thomas]: It's 2 p.m.

[Princey]: NO! Okay. You like pizza so we could be a group of crime-fighting pizza lovers.

[Morality]: I do like pizza!

[Princey]: Huh? Huh?

[Thomas]: Pretty sure that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Anxiety]: I hate this.

[Logan]: Accurate.

[Morality]: Booyakasha.

[Princey]: Ugh! And you're all in character for it too. Okay. How about music that we could lip-sync to?

*new scene*

[Princey]: ♪ They're lies lies lies lies lies... ♪

*end scene*

[Thomas]: No!

[Anxiety]: That was a Musical.ly and I'm so upset that I know that.

[Morality]: I am downloading that app, right now.

[Princey]: Fine! How about six-second looping vide-oh no.

[All]: Oooh...

[Logan]: It's too soon.

[Anxiety]: Princey, you are done. Give it up.

[Princey]: Quiet, you... Jerky-McJerk... face. Argh, I'm too busy brainstorming to think of a harmful nickname.

[Thomas]: Princey, calm down.

[Princey]: No! If I can't think of an original idea, what would you think of me? I can't... let you down.

[Thomas]: Princey, you could never let me down.

[Princey]: No?

[Anxiety]: No?

[Thomas]: No! Those ideas may not have been original, butI had fun watching you all do them.

[Morality]: That's what I was trying to say. You shouldn't stress over originality, just think of it as doing what you want to do in your own unique way.

[Thomas]: Yeah, I mean, If I try to be totally original, each and every video, I'm gonna drive myself up the wall.

[Anxiety]: But if it's not original, it's a copy.

[Thomas]: An imperfect copy. And the imperfections are what would make the content unique. We can learn and be inspired by others to create our own content.

[Logan]: Very much like how you're harkening back to Mark Earls' speech on originality right now.

[Thomas]: Astute.

[Morality]: Just remember, it's okay to be inspired by others. It's just not okay to plagiarize.

[Logan]: It's like W.H. Davenport Adams said that "Great poets imitate and improve, whereas small ones steal and spoil."

[Anxiety]: Oh, so you're on board with them now?

[Logan]: Well, I've always had my doubts on creating something entirely original, but I'm no defeatist.

[Thomas]: So Princey, it's true, you can't make an exact replica. But, you know, if you wanted to evolve an idea or put your own spin on something, that's alright.

[Princey]: Thanks, everyone. Well, almost everyone.

[Thomas]: I just have to stop doubting myself so much.

[Logan]: You got this, buddy!

[Morality]: Yeah!

[Logan]: Or you don't. It could go one of two ways.

[Morality]: Yeah...

[Princey]: Thank you. I suppose.

[Thomas]: You do have this.

[Princey]: Um.

[Thomas]: What's wrong, buddy?

[Princey]: It's just... I only ever pushed you toward your dreams, Thomas. And I never say a bad word about you. Why don't you want to listen to me more? This whole thing could've been avoided if you did.

[Thomas]: Oh, Princey... I-

[Princey]: Roman.

[Thomas]: Roman?

[Roman]: That's my proper name.

[Thomas]: Oh!

[Roman]: It felt weird, you calling me Princey when it's serious talk time.

[Thomas]: Oh, well, Roman, you are so important to me. I genuinely don't know what I would do without you. You have gotten me through some of my roughest days. But I need the other guys too. If I only ever listened to my most wonderful, romantic, fanciful thoughts... I'd be setting myself up for heartbreak.

[Roman]: Alright, Thomas. I understand. I guess.

[Thomas]: But like I said, I will make an effort to listen to you more. That Draw My Life was a good idea. I may still do it. Come on.

[Roman]: I guess I'll see you when you need me.

[Thomas]: Hey, Roman?

[Roman]: Yes?

[Thomas]: You're my hero. And I hope that you all continue to be inspired by this wonderful worldto create your own amazing pieces of art. If you're creating with your own honest voice, then that's all the originality you need. Until next time, take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!

*end card*

[Roman]: Well, there is one thing I think we can all be thankful for, you guys.

[Logan]: Oh yeah? What is that?

[Roman]: You can't get any more unique than all of us.

[Morality]: That's right, Roman.

[Roman]: (Confidently laughs)

*cutaway office style*

[Morality]: I didn't wanna admit I was a bit confused by that. He's such a big Disney fan, I would've thought he'd see how similar we are to the concept of Inside Out-

*end cutaway*

[Roman]: WHAT!? Oh my-

[Morality]: You think he heard me?

[Roman]: MY LIFE IS A LIE!