Sanders Sides Wiki

[Thomas]: -deep voice- They call me Sanders 'cause I make moves real smooth... but you can call me Thomas if you wanna get r- -dog ruffs in the background- ...If you wanna get r- -dog ruffs- ...If you wanna get r- -dog continues ruffing- Mm! I'm just now realizing how thin my apartment walls are. I gotta get out of here..

*intro; chalk on chalkboard sound effect for the A*

[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! FINALLY! Finally this video sees the light of day! -laughs- I have longed for this moment and I hope that you guys like it as much as we do! This video experienced a little pause in production due to... reasons that I think you all can guess and would understand. The most important thing for us was to try to make this as safely as possible. This episode is essential viewing for the overall storyline so we really had to figure something out and we arrived at a solution that we think is really cool. We combined forces with three of our artist friends: Erin Kelly, Alex Brennan-Dent, and Brei Grace and, with the aid of their unlimited creative powers, we have worked to present this episode in the form of an animatic! On top of world events that are unprecedented in our lifetimes, this video might have also been our most ambitious Sanders Sides episode to date and we're not sure if we would have been able to pull it off! But we still want to make it in live action whenever that's safe and if you're interested in watching a faithful re-adaptation of what you're about to watch, then you might wanna consider joining our Patreon!! Yes, you heard us right! We saw a bunch of other YouTubers with their Patreons... and we were feeling a little left out. Patreon will help us to circumvent a lot of the financial obstacles that we sometimes experience on YouTube like... demonetization, algorithm changes, and video suppression. Those obstacles can make it difficult for us to realize the videos that we want to make for you guys, so we're hoping that with Patreon we can reach our full potential... our -deep voice- final form... To the people who have been supporting us through YouTube Memberships, thank you SO much. If you enjoyed it, then that makes me SO happy. This will be better though. Maybe in every way. There are so many cool perks that will be offered to you guys through our Patreon, some of which we think you'll be very excited about. Stick around to the end of the video, before the end card, and I'll give you a little Sampler... Side. That was bad... -laughs- But, without further doodoo, we are SO ecstatic to present this animatic! A lot of love was put into this episode and, as we all know, love is a key ingredient in all the best recipes... ...after salt. Enjoy!

*start animatic; movie theater*

[Paige]: Theater Six will be down the hall to your right. Enjoy the film!

[Thomas]: You too. UH— OPE. -nervous laugh- I— I JUST.

[Paige]: Dude, it's okay. People do that thirty times a day. Please relax.

[Thomas]: Oh no! I- I'm just, uh... excited about the movie! Heh... Bye! -walking sounds- Okay, Theater what is down the where to my what? -notices his ticket says "Senior"-

[Roman & Virgil]: -show up behind Thomas-

[Roman]: -gasp- By the several severed heads of the Hydra... We're really here, aren't we??

[Virgil]: -with a popcorn bucket- Yup. Making away with a few extra bucks when you know full well that that employee made a mistake.

[Thomas]: I just saw it!

[Roman]: Trying to live while you're alive, huh, Thomas?? And at the expense of poor Paige in the box office.

[Virgil]: What happens when the door person sees that someone who OBVIOUSLY isn't a senior was rung up as a senior? Who gets punished? Not you...

[Roman]: Is it obvious? I mean he's in his thirties, he might as well be sixty.

[Thomas]: It was an accident!

*new scene; clothing store*

*security alarm goes off*

[Thomas]: -gasp- Oh gosh, uh, I am so SO sorry!

[Store Clerk]: Dude, it's okay. People do that, like, thirty times a day. Please relax.

[Thomas]: -sigh-

[Roman]: -pops out of circular hanger rack- BLATANTLY STEALING now, huh, grandpa??

[Thomas]: -under breath- It was an accident!

[Virgil]: -pops out of circular hanger rack- Just like last time... Heh, how interesting.

[Roman]: He can't think of new excuses quick enough at his old age.

[Thomas]: Please stop.

*new scene; Thomas on the phone*

[Friend]: Okay, buddy, love you.

[Thomas]: UH...

[Virgil]: SAY IT BACK!


*phone call ends*

[Roman]: ...You didn't mean that.

[Virgil]: Now you've done it... Do you know what saying "I love you" means to them, Thomas?

[Thomas]: Uh... no?

[Virgil]: Exactly. No. Those are some big words, Sanders... you shouldn't use 'em lightly...

[Thomas]: You made me say that!


*new scene; mall supermarket*

[Free Sample Vendor]: Free sample?

[Thomas]: Oh I'm... not hungry.

[Virgil]: Pft. Liar...

*new scene; on the phone again*

[Thomas]: -saying what he's typing- I'm sorry, I just saw this...

[Roman]: Liar.

*new scene; mall beauty parlor*

[Perfume Sample Vendor]: Perfume sample?

[Thomas]: Oh I'm not, uh, stinky.

[Virgil]: Liar.

*new scene; petting a dog*

[Roman]: Liar!

*new scene; massage chairs*

[Virgil]: Liar...

*new scene; bathroom stall*

[Roman]: LIAR!

*new scene; mall food court*

[Thomas]: -slams tray of food on table- -long sigh-

[Roman]: -notices something in the distance- Oh! What lad is that which doth enrich the Mac on yonder slate?

[Thomas]: Huh?

[Roman]: -sigh- Cutie at twelve o'clock. -turns Thomas' head towards a guy sitting across the food court-

*heavenly music plays*

[Thomas]: Oh... uh, yeah... I'm... not interested.

[Roman & Virgil]: Liar.

[Thomas]: Ah- We don't even know if he's gay.

[Roman]: Ah, but you're ignoring one key thing, Thomas! ...We don't know if he's NOT gay...

[Thomas]: You have used that argument on me far too many times.

[Virgil]: -with binoculars- He's got some stickers on his laptop...

[Roman]: Pretty gay.

[Virgil]: No! I mean... that's a CLASSIC introverted method of talking about yourself without having to do anything too... extreme... talking.

[Roman]: Soooo...

[Virgil]: So... what do the stickers SAY? -holds binoculars up to Thomas' eyes-

*zooms in on a sticker with the Simba symbol*

[Roman]: A Disney fan?? Okay, I can see the love tonight!

*moves to a sticker that says "Riot!"*

[Virgil]: Wh- Paramore??

[Roman]: Ayyy!

[Virgil]: -sharp inhale- Okay, for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic.

*moves to a sticker of John Malkovich's head*

[Thomas]: Mm... Is that... J-John Malkovich?

[Roman]: -pause- Alright, moving on.

*moves to a Nightmare Before Christmas sticker*

[Roman & Virgil]: Oh... my... god...

[Thomas]: No, yeah, he SEEMS cool... but...

[Roman]: Oh come ON, Thomas!

[Virgil]: You can live like Jack and Sally if you want...

[Thomas]: BUT, we still don't know if he's gay!

[Roman]: UGHHH!

[Food Attendant]: Here you go.

[Cute Stranger]: Thank you!

[Virgil]: Pins—!

[Roman]: and needles? I'm on them, too.

[Virgil]: No, doofus! There are pins and buttons on his backpack!

[Roman]: -gasp- -excited clapping- More clues!! -laughs- Man... this introvert REALLY likes talking about himself!

[Thomas]: -feigning disappointment- Ah, I can't see what they are, though! Shoot!

[Roman]: Why? D'ya forget your spectacles back at the retirement home? Go get a closer look!

[Thomas]: A) Those jokes are old.

[Roman]: You would know...


[Roman]: Well then just, friggin, go up to him! Tell him you like his buttons and ASK him about them!

[Virgil]: That's COMPLETELY disregarding the PURPOSE of the Sticker-Button System! You see some buttons... you button it.

[Roman]: UGH... pintroverts... ...'cause they... talk... using pins...

[Thomas]: Okay, look. I'll get CLOSER. I'm not gonna TALK to him... but... it'll be close enough to... ...sneak a peek.

[Virgil]: Okay, well, don't say it like that, but... I guess that sounds like a plan...

[Thomas]: -starts walking closer to the stranger, but then goes in a different direction-

[Roman & Virgil]: -in a commentators' setup-

[Roman]: -in the style of a golf commentator- Alright, off to a bad start. COMPLETELY wrong direction...

[Thomas]: -walking around stranger, keeping his distance-

[Roman]: -gasp- Ohhhh! -in a more dread-filled way- Ohhhh....

[Virgil]: Mmmm...

[Thomas]: -whispering- What?

[Virgil]: MMMMMM....

[Thomas]: -whispering- What??

[Virgil]: I don't like this...

[Roman]: Yes, I hate to agree... but this sucks.

[Thomas]: You TOLD me to get a closer look!

[Roman]: -matter-of-factly- Now I'm telling you you're being a freak!

[Virgil]: Mmhmm. You're a creep...

[Thomas]: Okay...

[Virgil]: You're a weirdo...

[Thomas]: Right. -walks into a line for a place called "Karrot King"-

[Virgil]: What the hell are we doing here?

[Roman]: GREAT master plan, Thomas, getting MORE food. Bloated and uncomfortable is a big look...

[Virgil]: It's more of a look than pretending to order food so that you can SPY on a stranger...

[Thomas]: Good points, guys! I don't want me to be doing this either! And I will GLADLY sit back down now.

[Roman & Virgil]: -whispered- -pull Thomas back- NO, WAIT!!

[Thomas]: Ah!

[Virgil]: -long sigh- Okay, if we're gonna do this... you gotta time how long you're looking. Otherwise he's gonna start to think you're looking to jack his backpack.

[Roman]: How long is too long?

[Virgil]: Six seconds.

[Roman]: Done.

[Virgil]: You have FIVE seconds max.

[Roman]: What— I'm not Max! I'm Prince Ro-

[Virgil]: GO!

[Roman]: -sees Yu-Gi-Oh! pin- No, -sees LA Lakers pin- no, -sees The Truman Show pin- no, -sees pride pin- gay, -sees John Malkovich pin- no- -goes back to pride pin- Gay? Gay! HE’S GAY!!

[Virgil]: Five... Four... Three... Two... One... Oh! Look away! Look away!!

[Thomas]: Great... -sighs- he's gay.

[Virgil]: Great indeed...

[Roman]: Great indeed!!!

[Karrot King Employee]: Next customer!!!

[Thomas]: Hm? Oh! Um, yes! I- I'll have the, uhhhh... boiled mail carrots! OH GOD!!

*back at table*

[Roman]: So, hoo-ray! Who's gay? That guy! What now?

[Virgil]: The only logical next step... Go home and regret everything.

[Roman]: Mm. How about I just regret asking that question? You know what happens now! You talk to him!!

[Virgil]: No, man!!

[Roman]: Ah, It's RO-man... with an R? -sigh- You're really struggling today...

[Virgil]: ...Okay, I'm not an expert on a lot of things. But when it comes to anti-social etiquette... I'm like a triple expert. An XXX-pert!

[Roman]: Easy, tiger.

[Virgil]: Are there ANY other non-verbal methods we could try??

[Thomas]: Gay eyes?

[Roman]: Gay eyes.

[Virgil]: Alright. ...What are gay eyes?

[Roman]: Oh! Oh ho... Ohhh how cute.

[Thomas]: It's sorta how... Ah... people silently communicate interest in one another in public spaces.

[Roman]: Yeah, it's sorta like... -makes gay eyes- Mm? Mm-mm? MMM?? -sultrily- Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm? Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm!

[Virgil]: And this works?

[Roman]: Ohoho... most of the time... No.

[Thomas]: No.

[Roman]: It does not.

[Thomas]: Not for me, at least.

[Virgil]: Well... if it's the only non-verbal option we've got left... ...fine!

*French accordion music plays*

[Thomas]: -makes gay eyes at stranger-

[Cute Stranger]: -looks away- Hm?

*accordion music abruptly stops*

[Roman]: -gasp- Disaster!!

[Virgil]: Go along with it! Pretend you were looking at... something else!!

[Thomas]: -pretends to look at something else- Ooo, uhhh, nnno, that— nnn... that's not, uh, ooo, oh, no...

[Roman]: What the hell was that??

[Thomas]: Don't look at me!

*intense ominous music begins*

[Virgil]: No, DO look at yourself, Thomas. 'Cause that was a test... and you -low-voice- FAILED.

[Thomas]: You were TESTING me??

[Virgil]: -music abruptly stops- Oh, no no no, I wasn't testing you. I was just panicking. No, the -intense music resumes- UNIVERSE tested you... and you CHOSE to be a liar!

[Roman]: It's because of the nonverbal NON-approach! It's like the old saying goes: If you don't have anything nice to say... It's because you're a dirty liar. Go say some nice things to him, Thomas!

[Virgil]: UH! I say... we put the ball in HIS court!

[Roman]: UGH! You're KILLING me, Virgil! But he DOES seem to like that kind of thing. He did have a basketball pin on his backpack. Tha- that's gotta mean something!

[Thomas]: That he likes basketball...

[Virgil]: Let's give HIM the chance to come and talk to us!

[Roman]: Fine... Thomas?

[Thomas]: -stretching- Well! It's getting pretty late! I should probably be heading out pretty soon...

[Cute Stranger]: -doesn't notice-

[Thomas]: -looks at phone- -at a louder volume- Y- yep!! Look at the time... that's... m-my leavin' time...

[Cute Stranger]: -still doesn't notice-

[Thomas]: I guess I can stay a little longer! -sits back down- -to himself- Oh my gosh...

[Roman]: Okay, that's it!

[Virgil]: No!

[Roman]: No, YOU no! I hate to rain on your black parade, Gerard Gay—

[Virgil]: Mm...

[Roman]: But the only thing left to do... is TALK TO THE GUY! -pulls Thomas out of his chair-

[Virgil]: -nervous but playing it off- Uhh- Th- this guy's weird anyway! I mean... who hangs out at the mall by themself for this long? -pulls Thomas back to his chair-

[Roman]: -laughs defiantly- Thomas, apparently! You call it weird. I call it DESTINY!! -pulls Thomas out of chair again-

[Virgil]: -trying to stay calm- Roman, I KNOW you like pulling on Thomas' heartstrings. But if you keep pulling the strings, the heart's gonna break! -pulls Thomas back to chair again-

[Roman]: -mocking Virgil's tone- VIRGIL, I know you like putting people down... but, right now, Thomas needs to RISE to the occasion! -pulls Thomas again-

[Virgil]: You're making a mistake! -pulls Thomas again-

[Roman]: If I am... I'LL ADD IT TO THE LIST! -shoves Thomas forward-

[Thomas]: -starts walking toward stranger-

[Virgil]: -pushes Thomas out of the way- MMMPH!

[Thomas]: -runs into a fake plant-

[Roman]: What are you doing?

[Thomas]: -words muddled- I dunno... plant...

[Roman]: Stop being fake with the plastic plant, and start being real with him!! -shoves Thomas forward again-

[Thomas]: Oof!!-walking towards stranger again-

[Virgil]: NO! -pushes Thomas out of the way again-

[Thomas]: -runs into a random stranger-

[Random Stranger]: Hello...

[Thomas]: -whispered- Play along... -out loud- Oh! Hey, buddy! That's you! You're my buddy! Er... -Irish accent- Top o' the morning to ya! I... ignore that part! Fancy running into you here like this, my friend from kindergarten! How are you... doing? How's the wife?

[Random Stranger]: But I've... never seen you.

[Thomas]: Yeah, I... I know. I— that's why I said "play along."

[Random Stranger]: Oookay, you're being rude! I'm leaving.

[Thomas]: -under breath- Okay... -out loud- Good to see you!!

[Random Stranger]: Stop talking to me!

[Thomas]: Ha ha! Ohhh, you!

[Roman]: Virgil, enough is enough! You MUST let this happen!

[Virgil]: -long sigh- Whatever!

[Roman & Virgil]: -vanish for a bit-

[Thomas]: -starts walking towards stranger-

[Roman]: -gasp- Check your hair.

[Thomas]: -checks hair- Looks fine.

[Virgil]: Anything in your teeth?

[Thomas]: -checks teeth- Nn- ...Nope.

[Roman]: Your shnozz!! Search for treasure for good measure!

[Thomas]: -checks nostrils- -sniffs- All clear!

[Virgil]: Check for styes.

[Thomas]: -incredulously- ...styes??

[Virgil]: Just do it!!

[Thomas]: -checks eyes- -trips over a trash can, knocking it over- Guh- Oh!! Oh geez...

[Virgil]: Abort! ABORT!!

[Roman]: Great going, Captain Blunderpants!! Quick! Hide, so he doesn't see you in all your shame!!

[Roman, Thomas, & Virgil]: -hide inside the trash can-

[Virgil]: I knew this was a bad idea...

*new scene; bathroom, sink running*

[Thomas]: -cleaning himself up-

[Virgil]: Okay... -sink shuts off- I think I get why... I've been so unwilling to let Thomas approach.

[Roman]: You were being a baby about the buttons and the pins had you panicking.

[Virgil]: Uh... I guess? But also... we didn't have a game plan. If you go in cold turkey... you might chicken out.

[Roman]: Bird brain's right!

[Thomas]: Whoa, easy, Roman!

[Roman]: What? He's got birds on the brain! You don't wanna wing it, Virge, alright! Let's drum up something to say!

[Thomas]: -gasp- Oh! Oh oh!! The pins! What did we look at them for anyway if not to figure out the perfect icebreaker!

[Roman]: Mmm... no.

[Virgil]: Oh, Thomas, y-you can't use info you snooped for! That's like... cyber-stalking... But real life!

[Roman]: Sooo... stalking?

[Virgil]: OH, YOU'RE RIGHT!

[Roman]: Thomas... -sigh- You're going to have to try... speaking from the heart.

[Thomas]: -long sigh- Look, I-I know this is awkward... and maybe not the best place to strike up a conversation... ...I don't really know what to say to you. I honestly don't know what I'm doing at the mall today... I don't know what I was looking for... Hah, I guess that answers my question. The mall is where you go if you want something, but you don't know what it is, because the mall has everything, right? Uh, I don't know... -small laugh- Ugh, I don't know a lot about anything. Heh... Least of all myself... ...and I feel that the hardest when it comes to... ...knowing what I want. But I know that... I want to take a chance... and talk to you... ...I have to, because... I don't know... when I'm GOING to know what I WANT again... ...and I KNOW that if I don't act on these feelings right now, I'm... going to regret it. I saw you... across the food court and... you were so... radiant. I saw you... ...and I just knew.

[Man in Bathroom]: -walks out of a bathroom stall behind Thomas- -sniffles- No one's ever said something like that to me before...

*awkward pause*

[Thomas]: I... I am so sorry! I was just, uh... running lines in the mirror! -sigh- I'm an- I'm an actor. I was just... practicing for a scene...

[Man in Bathroom]: -dejected- Oh.

[Roman]: Did he not flush?

[Thomas]: Did you not flush?

[Man in Bathroom]: I didn't wanna ruin the moment...

[Thomas]: Ah. Sorry for the confusion. -footsteps out, followed by door closing-

[Virgil]: You did it again.

[Thomas]: -confused- Yeah, I... gotta stop wooing strangers in bathrooms...

[Virgil]: You KNOW what I meant. The "rehearsing" in the bathroom... the "old friend" in the food court... the plant... ...the pretending, the hiding, the God-forsaken boiled carrots!

[Thomas]: Uuuck...

[Virgil]: The LIES.

[Roman]: I so... SO badly want this. I- I'm desperate for it... ...but you can't have true love... ...if the relationship isn't built on truth.

[Virgil]: If this is the foot we start OUT on... ...what's it gonna be like down the road? Will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to him?

[Thomas]: -sigh- No... No, he's better off without me... -walks out to the lobby-

[Cute Stranger]: -runs up to Thomas- Uh— Hey! Hey!! -sigh- Phew! -laughs- There you are! I- I was afraid you'd left!

[Virgil]: AH! WHAT?!

[Roman]: He was AFRAID YOU LEFT??


[Cute Stranger]: -holds up bag of food- You almost forgot your food!

[Roman]: -stammering- -at the same time- Tell him to call you sometime! W-What's his number?? Tell him how cute he is— A real textbook cutie pie!! Oh my gosh I can NOT breathe right now! -heavy breathing-

[Virgil]: -at the same time- If you could call it that? What?! You can't just TELL someone to call you! We TEXT each other nowadays?? Ugh. And you will NOT tell him he's a textbook cutie pie!

[Cute Stranger]: -finishing a sentence- mind kinda telling me about that?

[Roman & Virgil]: Huh??

[Virgil]: What'd he say??

[Roman]: I don't know! I don't know!!

[Virgil]: Okay. That's okay. Except it's SUPER NOT, I am FREAKING OUT!

[Roman]: I- I think I saw a lot of wide vowels!

[Virgil]: Ne-vah-da??

[Roman]: More than that!!

[Virgil]: An-a-con-dah??

[Roman]: ANACONDA! Thomas! He's a Nicki Minaj fan!!

[Cute Stranger]: It's okay! Uh it's probably a bit too nosy for me to ask anyway.

[Thomas]: Uh... yeah!! SUPER nosy!! What's wrong with you... man?? Hahaha... Ahhhh...

[Cute Stranger]: Ahhh, yeah... sorry about that. Have a good night. -starts walking away-

[Roman]: Ugh... Welp! There he goes... more chance at happiness... squandered. -sigh- It's probably for the best...

[Virgil]: -looks at Roman, then at Guy- -heavy breathing- -shoves Thomas forward- NN- UNF!

[Thomas]: UH!

[Cute Stranger]: Hey.

[Thomas]: ...Hey... -holds up food- Do you want this food? I... don't.

[Cute Stranger]: -laughs- Then why'd you buy it?

[Thomas]: Oh y-... pah- uh... Well it's probably... you know, MAYBE because I was trying to see your backpack...

[Cute Stranger]: Wh- uh, MY backpack?

[Thomas]: Yeah... I- I wanted to see if you had any... pride pins... on your backpack, but I- I didn't feel comfortable asking because you seemed kind of preoccupied? And I- I didn't want to bother you, but if you DID have one... which I saw that you do, and I'm SO sorry if that's creepy... then it might have meant that bothering you was... worth it?? Because it might have meant that I had a chance with you which would have been amazing because I think you're really... ...cute.

[Cute Stranger]: Oh... my... gosh... should have just said hi!

[Thomas]: Oh- oh yeah?

[Cute Stranger]: Yeah, I had writer's block anyway.

[Thomas]: Oh! Uh... w-what were you trying to write? Uh, Misterrrr...

[Cute Stranger]: Ah— Uh... "Mr. Flores"! -shakes Thomas' hand- Very formal of you! Uh... -laughs- You can call me Nico if you'd like.

[Thomas]: -laughs- Mr. Sanders! -sigh- But you can call me Thomas.

[Nico]: To answer your question... I was ATTEMPTING to write a song.

[Thomas]: Oh! I like... songs. What's yours about?

[Nico]: -he and Thomas sit at a table- Uh... I don't know yet. I- I think I like the idea of someone's life... or an aspect of their life feeling like... ...a trash bin. And- and the waste keeps piling... and piling up... until it inevitably... SPILLS out... into the rest of their life.

[Thomas]: You saw me knock over that trash can, didn't you?

[Nico]: That was you??

[Thomas]: OH— gosh... yes. Dang it!

[Nico]: -through a laugh- Are you okay??

[Thomas]: Ugh... Nothing but a bruised ego. Ha ha...

[Roman]: Hmph.

[Nico]: Sorry if my song explanation... uh, hit a little too close to home.

[Thomas]: No, it's fine. It's true! I do tend to... waste a lot of opportunities in my life.

[Virgil]: Hmm.

[Nico]: -small laugh- ...Well... -holds up food- Let's not waste this one.

[Roman]: Shut up...

[Virgil]: Shut up...

[Roman]: SHUT UP!

*Camera briefly switches back to Thomas and Nico talking*

[Roman]: Thank you.

[Virgil]: -nervous laugh- You're welcome... I guess? In all honesty... I really don't know what that was.

[Roman]: -small laugh- -puts hand on Virgil's shoulder- Bravery.

[Virgil]: Wh... N- no, I— -stammering-

[Roman]: -affectionately- Shut up, emo.

*end animatic*

[Thomas]: And there you have it! Maybe things are finally changing for our old friend, Thomas...

[Roman]: -pops up- Emphasis on the "old".

[Thomas]: STOP! Get out!

[Roman]: -sinks out-

[Thomas]: The episode is over! Punk... little punk... -to viewers- about that Patreon! My Patreon! Or perhaps it's more accurate to say... -puts on Janus’ bowler hat as his theme plays- -in Janus' voice- Janus' Patreon... -takes off the hat- -music stops- -normal voice- Nah, it's mine... -puts hat back on- BUT JANUS IS RUNNING IT! -takes off the hat- It is Janus' covert collection, his well-kept keep, his... Corridor of Stored Rewards!! Yeah... we worked really hard on that name. -laughs- -in Janus' voice- There you can find extended versions of videos, scripts, bloopers, bonus/unreleased videos, behind the scenes content, special discounts on merch available at the shop, and re-releases of episodes featuring commentary from me and the team. And, for the first thousand that sign up at the $25 level, you'll receive a never been seen Janus tee. -holds up said T-shirt- -normal voice- It's one of my favorite shirts that we've ever had. -laughs- -in Janus' voice- Additionally, you can join in on Patreon-only livestreams, in which we will chat with you, play games, and film unscripted videos live. Some patrons will even have the opportunity to contribute to the WRITING of Sanders Sides episodes and other scripted content! There will be all sorts of hush-hush hoopla. What? You think that's oxymoronic? -silhouette of Janus briefly appears onscreen- Well maybe it is. But nobody needs to know about that kind of thing in... Janus' Corridor of Stored Rewards!! -normal voice- And, I know that times are tough for a lot of people, and not everyone can pledge, and that's perfectly fine. You won't be missing out on any of our regular content. Everything you're already used to seeing will still be posted, for free, as usual. In fact, we're always striving to get more content to you if we can! For those that can and want to pledge, thank you so, so much. Anything that you choose to give us is plenty, and we hope that we can make it worth your while. If you wanna learn more you can click the first link in the description to see all the different tiers and their perks. Regardless, we really appreciate the support you all have given us throughout the years and it's INCREDIBLY touching how encouraging and supportive you all have been to this content that we're so passionate about. No matter what amount you're able to give, even if you can't give anything at all, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!

*new scene; Thomas' living room shortly after the events of the episode*

[Roman, Thomas, & Virgil]: -walk into apartment, heading to their usual spots-

[Thomas]: -overlapping- Oh my god... Okay... okay... Okay... Okay. What? What??? Oh my gosh. -breathing heavily through hands- Mmm...

[Roman]: -overlapping- And then Virgil came in with the PUSH! I mean... WHOO! Ho, dream come true. A dream come true! I am very sweaty right now. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Mmm...

[Virgil]: -overlapping- -with sparkly purple eyeshadow instead of black- Are you serious right now?? Oh my gosh... Okay, okay... Oookay. Oh man. -breathing heavily through hands- Mmm... Hmm...


[Roman, Thomas, & Virgil]: -ecstatically- AHHH!

[Thomas]: -overlapping- Ok, shhhh!! Shhhhh!

[Roman]: -overlapping- Shhhh!!

[Virgil]: -overlapping- Shhhhh, right, shhhh, you're right, shhhh!!

[Roman]: Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm!! MMM!!!

[Virgil]: Hoo!!

[Thomas]: You guys!

[Virgil]: Alright, Thomas, I'm gonna need you to, like... like, walk around the room, walk around the... entire expanse of the room, just in a frenzy.

[Roman]: MM! Cardio! CARDIO!

[Thomas]: -snaps- -starts walking around the room- Yep! Yep!

[Virgil]: Thank you so much, yes that's— that's— that helps somehow.

[Roman]: A POET! To top it all off, he's a poet!

[Thomas]: I just subtweeted about him!

[Roman]: -snaps- That's my boy!

[Virgil]: What did you say?

[Thomas]: -reading from his phone- "Had a good day today. Hee-hee. Heart-with-an-arrow-in-it."

[Virgil]: -eyeshadow becomes black- Huh... delete it.

[Thomas]: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that— yeah— makes sense.

[Roman]: O beauteous bard in the court of food... ...blah blah blah blah blah blah dude. I'll fill in the rest later.

[Thomas]: Mm. MM!

[Virgil]: -eyeshadow becomes purple again- What if things are never the same again? Hah...

[Thomas]: I mean that's certainly POSSIBLE, but, you know, seeing as we've only just met him, -Virgil's eyeshadow becomes black again- perhaps it's not the wisest thing to expect so much.

[Roman]: But what a promising start, right?!?

[Virgil]: -eyeshadow becomes purple again- I KNOW, RIGHT?!

[Thomas]: Yeah! Yeah, I- Yeah, I'm just overthinking things!

[Roman]: Yeah! Join me! No thinking!

[Virgil]: Thomas, do you need to pee? I think you need to pee.

[Thomas]: -starts running off camera- Oh! Okay! Yeah, o-okay!

[Roman]: -looking at phone- Alright! I found a Michelin star restaurant... it's in France...

[Virgil]: I'm listening.

[Thomas]: -runs back on camera- -snaps- I did NOT have to pee.

[Roman]: Plane tickets seem pretty cheap around February...

[Virgil]: Thomas, I- I'm gonna need you to shake your hands, alright?

[Thomas]: -starts shaking his hands- Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!

[Virgil]: You gotta do SOMETHING with 'em. They're just hanging there.

[Roman]: -gasp- RIGHT in time for Valentine's Day!

[Virgil]: -tongue click- Are you sure you don't have to pee?

[Thomas]: -sigh- Gosh... -sigh-

*transition to end card*

[Thomas]: ...Are we ready for this?

*short silence*

[Roman]: Uhhh, DEFINITELY!! -laughs- I-I- if he's ready, WE'RE ready!

[Virgil]: -eyeshadow becomes black again-

[Thomas]: Okay! Okay! Yeah... right...

*dog ruffs in the background*

[Virgil]: -tempest tongue- GAH! DEMON!

[Thomas]: Mmm!

[Virgil]: -frustrated exhale-

[Thomas]: That DANG DOG!

[Roman]: Dude, it's okay. That happens thirty times a day. Please rela-


Transcriptsv · d · e
Season 1 My True Identity! · WAY TOO ADULT · Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!! · A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! · The Dark Side of Disney! · I'M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! · The MIND vs. The HEART! · Alone on VALENTINE'S DAY! · Losing My Motivation · Sanders Sides Q&A · AM I ORIGINAL? · My NEGATIVE Thinking · Growing Up · Making Some Changes! · Becoming a CARTOON! feat. Butch Hartman! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?
Season 2 Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!) · MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia · MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup · The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! · Can LYING Be Good?? · Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · Crofters - THE MUSICAL! Learning New Things About Ourselves · EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas! · Selfishness v. Selflessness · Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS · Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux
Sanders Asides Are There Healthy Distractions? · Flirting with Social Anxiety · Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts
Extras BLOOPER REEL! · Sanders Sides - BEHIND THE SCENES Q&A! · BLOOPER REEL!! The Bloop Strikes Back! · Behind the Scenes Featurette: Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · 5 Sanders Sides Behind the Scenes Facts (Learning New Things About Ourselves)