Sanders Sides Wiki

[Thomas]: New Sanders Sides time now! -clicks remote- -heavy metal music- ♪ MY MOM ALWAYS COMES IN MY ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING— ♪ -turns off music- Oh my gosh, um... That was uh... that was an old college band I was in. Okay, here uh, here we go, right here! -clicks remote-

*new scene*

[Thomas]: Before we start the video... I'm starting a second channel!

[Joan]: YAY!

[Thomas]: Oh my gosh, where did you come from? Where did you go? I'm gonna talk a little bit more about that, but if you don't care you can skip to this time signature. It's called "Thomas Sanders..."

[Joan]: "And Friends".

[Thomas]: "And Friends", yes.

[Joan]: And- but- not... Not just me.

[Thomas]: No, more than just you. Which is cool. Friends, plural. And it's where I'm gonna be posting our unscripted content from here on out, as well as our short video compilations... ACHOO! -ducks out-

[Joan]: -rises back in wiping nose and wearing Thomas’ shirt- Excuse me. So, I'm sure you're all wondering what you're gonna see on this other channel, well I'll show you! Oh my gosh, Awkward Adventures! Voices of Unreason! Tweet Tunes, we haven't seen that one in a little while! Oh, yeah, there's the reactions. Yeah, everyone watches those. We're also gonna try some new things out too.

[Thomas]: Give me my shirt back!

[Joan]: I'm sorry!

[Thomas]: -ahem- On this channel, we're gonna continue posting scripted content like Sanders Sides and Cartoon Therapy and also our music, so if you only like our scripted content, we won't be clogging your subscription feeds. If you only like our unscripted content, you can subscribe to our second channel. If you like both, you can subscribe to both, either/or/and! Our goal is to increase frequency of posting for both channels, so if you enjoyed all that fun off-the-cuff stuff we did on this channel, be sure to subscribe to the new channel if you want to get more of that. Also stay tuned to the end to hear a special offer from this video sponsor Skillshare, as well as a look at a new piece of Sanders Sides merch.

*end scene*

[Thomas]: Ok, sorry. I don't know- I don't know what this is doing, but that was some sort of, uh, weird promo. I'm not sure. Ok, new Sander Sides now! -clicks remote-


[Thomas]: -seriously, while pouring wine- How do you do, everyone? So, I figured we try something new for today. Rather than, deliver unto you a game of some kind or a silly escapade, you know, those usual YouTube hijinks. I thought it might be nice to have an advanced, mature discussion about world events. So... The Israeli-Palestinian conflict... Woah! Nope... -puts wine glass down- Hoo! Uh, I am sorry. I went right out the gate with a... heavy subject matter that I have no idea about and maybe would have been irresponsible for me to talk about with any authority. Um... Okay, I am sorry. Hoo... To be honest, um... I've just been in kind of a weird place, uh, because of something that happened recently.

[Patton]: -pops up- You see, Thomas had recently eaten an old chicken wrap that had gone bad. And—

[Thomas]: NO! No, hahaha... Patton, that is not what I was referring to.

[Patton]: Yeah, but—

[Thomas]: Yeah, no, that was bad... but I was referring to that conversation I had the other day.

[Patton]: Yeah, with your friend about the awful dia-

[Thomas]: -LOGUE! That I had with another old friend I ran into last week.

[Patton]: Oh...! I'll shut up about the diarrhea.

[Thomas]: No-! Mmm...

[Patton]: I can't help but feel like I did something.

[Thomas]: So basically, I hadn't seen this friend in a while, and he asked me what I did nowadays, and I told him that I'm... doing YouTube. And then came a question that was... -sigh- all too familiar... "Yeah, but what do you ACTUALLY do? Like for a living."

[Patton]: Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]: I know there's this whole stigma around social media and that it's looked at as just a hobby. And for many people it is! But you know for a lot of people it's their full-time gig. But it's still not taken seriously. I'm not taken seriously. And you know, I've had people ask me that question millions of times before, but for some reason, this time... I don't know. It just stuck with me. And I don't know why. And it also doesn't help with this whole funk I'm in...

[Patton]: Aah!

[Thomas]: Not the good kind of funk.

[Patton]: Aww...

[Thomas]: Yeah, and you know, it's not like I'm not being productive or not creating. It's just I haven't been satisfied. I don't feel content... with my content. There are all these little things that for some reason are getting to me, but I feel bad... for feeling bad... because... I don't know, I just feel bad.

[Patton]: Aw, Thomas don't say that. Take it from me, that's not the way to work out your feelings.

[Thomas]: But what even are my feelings right now? None of it makes sense! Nothing's different! Not that I know of. Okay, the only way I can describe it is, like, someone dumped a million billion... JILLION piece puzzle in front of me and you know, it's up to me to put it together. To figure out why I'm feeling this way.

[Patton]: I can't even count that high...

[Thomas]: Usually I go for the edge pieces first, you know, to help, like, frame it up and work inwards, but I can't find a frickin' edge piece anywhere!

[Patton]: So... we continue looking for our first edge piece!

[Thomas]: Yeah, well for now, my feelings have to wait, because I have videos I have to make. Even though nothing I create seems to be anything great.

[Roman]: -pops up- How dare you criticize my work while also utilizing my rhyming skills! That's like -slaps self- slapping me in the face of my own beautifully manicured... -pulls out sword- SWORD! -kisses sword-

[Thomas]: Oh, hi, Roman.

[Roman]: I'm sorry that everything I make isn't the Creation of Adam... Driver, with his perfectly huge pecs!

[Thomas]: No, I'm not saying that I just- I don't know what I want.

[Roman]: Well, maybe we should just take some time to explore what it is we want.

[Logan]: -pops up- You know, we can't do that, Roman.

[Patton]: Logan! It's Patton!

[Logan]: -clapping- Thomas made a commitment to regularly sharing content. He must be held accountable.

[Roman]: -sigh- Is this really a time to be harping on due dates, Teach?

[Logan]: This isn't just about my regard for punctuality. Although, I am overcome by a titillating, tingly sensation whenever deadlines are met.

[Roman]: Eww.

[Logan]: If we continually fail to deliver videos in a timely manner or even fail to deliver them entirely, then... Uh... -looks at flashcard- By the screams of snipped snakes at a Gorgon salon, why would the audience remain? ...What?

[Roman]: Oh, that's one of mine.

[Logan]: Ah... -hands flashcard to Roman-

[Roman]: Thank you... -swipes away flashcard- I DON'T KNOW why the viewers would stick around! They certainly aren't doing it to hear you talking about them so belittlingly.

[Logan]: Belittlingly? How is treating their time as valuable belittling them? -to viewers- Are you feeling belittled? Comment below if you're feeling belittled.

[Roman]: Don't bring them into this. How dare you! -to viewers- Sorry, everyone! Pardon Logan's rude behavior... and make sure to ring that bell.

[Logan]: Oh, but YOU can talk to them.

[Roman]: Yes! To clear up your bad behavior.

[Logan]: MY bad behavior? My bad behavior... -continues fighting-

[Roman]: You know how our arguments should always go, Logan? -continues fighting-

[Patton]: -to viewers- Uhh, hey kids, daddy and daddy are just having a little discussion, that's all. Just focus on daddy and everything will be A-OK, here we go! Le-le-le-le-le-le...

[Thomas]: Uhh, guys...

[Patton]: -gasps- I know that face. My child is returning...

[Virgil]: -pops up- ...Mmmmmm...

[Thomas]: Virgil's here! It's not a party... until I have anxiety.

[Virgil]: Thomas, you have got to do something about this!

[Thomas]: Do something about what?

[Logan & Roman]: -still fighting-

[Virgil]: Are you kidding?

[Thomas]: But... this is what they always do. You know that. -background bleep from Roman- I mean, I thought they had it a little figured out a bit ago... They had that one debate -background bleep from Roman- that ended pretty well, and heck, they sang a song together!

[Virgil]: Yeah, I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say maybe, MAYBE, there's still some things to work out.

[Patton]: Right! Like confronting his feelings, which is what I was saying! Thank you, you shadowy, but angelic songbird!

[Virgil]: You got it, Pop Star.

[Patton]: -deep gasp- -high-pitched- You gave me a dad-themed nickname!

[Thomas]: Guys, I don't know what you're talking about, this is pretty par -background bleep from Roman- for the course. Sure, it's not ideal. But I don't know if it's -background bleep from Roman- a -background bleep from Roman- big deal either.

[Roman]: Oh! And another thing— Oh, when did Virgil get here?

[Virgil]: Yeah, definitely not ideal.

[Patton]: I don't know, Thomas. Your heart AND your anxiety are telling ya the same thing here.

[Logan]: What, have you two formed some kind of team?

[Patton]: Only the bestest, mostest, dynamicist, duoist... duo... in the entire Thomasphere!

[Virgil]: Got that right.

[Patton]: Ahhh! -stretches arm to Virgil-

[Thomas]: Ho!

[Patton & Virgil]: -high five-

[Patton]: -stretches arm back-

[Thomas]: Guys! You gotta stop the stretchy-arm thing that's been happening lately. It's gross. Like, it's really gross.

[Virgil]: Ahem, -finger snaps- okay, listen up you two, because I'm getting real tired of this. Roman... You get super insecure for some reason and, when that happens, the work suffers.

[Roman]: -scoffs defensively- Wha-at?

[Virgil]: And Logan, you get upset anytime anyone throws a wrench into the system, or really any time things aren't working perfectly, so, you start acting like a jerk and making everyone feel stupid.

[Roman]: I'm not insecure!

[Logan]: Well, someone has to bring you all into line.

[Roman]: Uh, bring ME into line?

[Logan]: I'm the one who ensures that order is maintained!

[Roman]: Without me, you'd have nothing to maintain in the first place!

[Logan & Roman]: I'm the most important side here!

[Thomas]: Uh, so... was there a point to that, Virge? Or...?

[Virgil]: Yeah, that this isn't normal. Look, I'm not choosing sides here...

[Patton]: Sanders Sides!

[Virgil]: All I'm saying is that you both suck at what you do and I'm tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.

[Logan]: You what?!

[Roman]: I am not about to stand here...

[Virgil]: Look, it's no offense, it's just how I see it.

[Roman]: ...and be criticized by the dude who's always causing trouble.

[Logan]: Do you have even the faintest idea how dangerous that is? I never even felt any heat!

[Roman]: I-I will roll with your fire idiom, alright?

[Virgil]: I'm being upfront. I'm shooting straight. Even though I'm gay.

[Roman]: Fire can be a bad thing!

[Logan]: You're lucky that your acts of arson have seemingly settled themselves in the past...

[Roman]: I mean...

[Thomas]: See? Totally normal.

[Roman]: ...just watch The Jungle Book.

[Logan]: ...or you could have seriously hurt someone.

[Virgil]: Do you guys think it's easy to stay calm with you two arguing all the time??

[Patton]: Okay, okay! Calm Down Time! -hands Roman a Dora the Explorer coloring book-

[Roman]: Ooh.

[Patton]: I think we all need a little bit of... Not Talking Time! -tosses Virgil a fidget cube- -nervous laugh- Alright... Here ya go, Logan. -tosses Logan a Rubix Cube-

[Thomas]: Wow. -laughs- I mean, if only I could be settled that easil-

[Patton]: -turns on TV-

[Thomas]: Ooh.

*Parks and Recreation opening can be heard*

[Virgil]: I like the one with the buttons... Wait, no! We do this too much!

[Thomas]: Yeah, I really should start watching a different show.

[Patton]: Yeah. -turns off TV-

[Virgil]: No... I mean, yes, you should, but I'm talking about THIS! THIS is part of the problem. We keep having this same problem, but instead of facing it and fixing it, we just... find a distraction.

[Logan]: -completes Rubix cube- Virgil's right. -tosses cube away- We argue and argue until it's utter chaos, then you distract yourself and forget about the issue until you're reminded of it again. We're trapped in a figurative Sisyphean nightmare.

[Roman]: You don't have to say "figurative" Logan. We know that we're not literally trapped in a nightmare. -shows drawing from coloring book, which is the Mona Lisa- I drew a little outside the lines, but I kind of like it.

[Logan]: Reality is uncertain to the point that many of history's greatest philosophical minds have spent their entire lives questioning it. A little clarity never hurt anybody.

[Patton]: Thomas, this cycle might be exactly what's causing these issues that are uptown funking you up.

[Thomas]: Wait, so we're stuck in a loop?

[Patton]: You can say that again.

[Thomas]: We're stuck in a loop?

[Patton]: You can say that again.

[Thomas]: We're stuck in a loop?

[Patton]: You can say that agai-

[Roman]: Oh my gosh, I will kill both of you... with my bare hands! ...And this sword.

[Virgil]: That just proved it. Loops are the worst.

[Patton]: Hey, some loops are fun! Fruit...

*everyone waits for the rest of the word*

[Logan]: Oh, he's done.

[Thomas]: Oh I thought he was gonna- gonna list them out.

[Logan]: No, that was his... that was his whole statement.

[Thomas]: Okay, well, if I am in this so-called "loop"...

[Roman]: You were the first person to call it a loop.

[Thomas]: How do I get out of it?

[Virgil]: The situation is pretty cut-and-dry, isn't it? You guys just cut it out.

[Roman]: I'm doing nothing wrong.

[Logan]: -whips out flashcard that says "Samesies"- Same-size.

[Thomas]: Yeah, I gotta say I don't see anything wrong there either.

[Virgil]: Wha- you- I—

[Thomas]: Now, any other solutions on this whole loop-breaking thing?

[Roman]: Um...

[Virgil]: I mean, I don't know. I don't know, I guess. I don't know.

[Logan]: If there's a problem, forego looking in my direction. If there were a line dividing this room into two segments, separating those of us who are potentially at fault and those of us who are certainly not at fault, you would find that I stand... beyond the fault line.

[Thomas]: Okay. Roman? Anything, bud?

[Roman]: You, uh, you always do your best thinking in the shower. So, um, uhh... Get naked? Uh, everyone get naked? Everyone, get—?

[Virgil]: No, stop. No one is getting naked.

[Thomas]: Guys, come on! I-I'm apparently stuck in this endless cycle, and... I don't know why I can't just break it!

[Patton]: -gasps- Thomas, that's it!

[Thomas]: What?

[Patton]: I don't know!

[Virgil]: Then why did you—

[Patton]: No, YOU don't know!

[Roman]: I'm confused.

[Patton]: Virgil said this problem is cut-and-dry, but then you said you don't know why you can't break the cycle! Maybe it's because this problem is the opposite of cut-and-dry!

[Logan]: Intact and wet!

[Patton]: No, uh... Gosh, words can be tough. Um... It's not just that you don't know, but it's that you don't know that you don't know. And that's okay! I mean, there's lots of stuff that I don't know that I don't know.

[Virgil]: What's he saying?

[Thomas]: I don't know.

[Patton, Roman, & Thomas]: THIRD BASE!

[Patton]: Yeah... Eh, no, that's funny.

[Logan]: Oh, I think I do. Sometimes, we don't seek the answer to a question because we don't know... that there's a question that we should be asking in the first place! Patton, you're... good. That was... helpful.

[Patton]: Yee.

[Thomas]: Okay, so I need to be asking myself a question in order to get down to the bottom of this issue.

[Roman]: But what is the question?

[Logan]: That is the question, for now. The answer to that question is... the question.

[Virgil]: Guys, I'm barely following this.

[Logan]: Perhaps it's time to put on our cogitating caps.

[Thomas]: You mean our... figurative cogitating caps, right, Logan—?

[Logan]: -puts on a literal cogitating cap-

[Thomas]: Nope, it's literal. Alright, cool. Well, keep me updated over there. Alright, come on, guys! We've got an issue. Something that I'm not aware of yet, something that may be unlocked with the right question. This is like... fundamental learning! How did I used to learn things?

[Logan]: Textbooks.

[Roman & Virgil]: Mistakes.

[Patton]: Puppets!

[Thomas]: What?

[Logan]: You know he always shouts out random things, Thomas, ignore it.

[Virgil]: Or we could hear him out. He's already made one valid point today.

[Roman]: We're talking about hearing him out in regards to him shouting "puppets"?

[Patton]: Yeah, no, really! Think about it! Thomas used to learn all kinds of new and helpful things from puppets when he was younger! Like how to count and his ABCs. Maybe, it'll be easier to work through issues when puppets are involved!

[Logan]: Fair enough. But he's an adult now. He's outgrown all of that—

[Thomas]: Patton, I love that idea!

[Logan]: -under breath- What...

[Roman]: Uhh, I love it, too!

[Virgil]: Funny. You seemed so doubtful a second ago.

[Logan]: I guess I won't be needing this.

[Thomas]: Okay, so how's this gonna work? Are we all gonna have our own puppets or...

[Patton]: -takes the form of a paper bag puppet- -Kermit the Frog voice- YAAYYY!

[Thomas]: AAAAHHHH!!!

[Patton]: Oh, sorry, kiddo. I- I just always wanted to do the old Kermit "YAY!"

[Thomas]: Oh. -nervous laugh- Me too, um... That's what I was doing. You definitely didn't actually scare me.

[Virgil]: Ahem, you're a dork. -to Patton- Look at you.

[Thomas]: Yeah, cute puppet, Patton! It was, uh... I was just a little caught off guard. Just a little bit.

[Patton]: Thanks! Yeah, I figured we could do something simple and fun. You know, no need for anything too extravagant or—

[Roman]: - takes the form of a Jim Henson style puppet- Alright, here's what I threw together. It's nothing special, really. What do you guys think? Did I overdo the chin?

[Patton]: Wow!

[Thomas]: Eh, maybe. But you look great, Roman!

[Logan]: Oh, no...

[Patton]: Check out Jim Handsome over here, right?

[Virgil]: Woww... You are... unbelievably extra any chance you get.

[Roman]: Oh, put a sock in it!

[Patton]: Hey, Roman, fleece co-... -laughs- Fleece Cumpleaños. -laughs- 'Cause you're made of fleece?

[Logan]: Is this- this is where- this is definitely where we're going?

[Patton]: -gasps- Your turn, Virgil?

[Roman]: Unless you'd rather be called Camilla the... Chicken.

[Thomas]: Stop, Roman, only if he wants to.

[Virgil]: No, I-I do. If it'll help. -sighs- Okay, how do I do this? -strains- Mmmm.... -takes the form of a sock puppet- Well... there.

[Patton]: AAH!! So cute!

[Roman]: Sweet Coraline!

[Patton & Thomas]: ♪ Ba ba ba! ♪

[Virgil]: Yes, I am a puppet, here to take you on a magical journey through your feel- Oh, this was a mistake. I can't do this.

[Thomas]: No, this is great! I really think this could work! Oh, Logan, you're up!

[Logan]: If by "up", you mean that I am not down to do this, you are correct.

[Thomas]: Wha-?

[Roman]: Oh, big surprise coming from No-Funsen Honeydew... DOO! Last second edition there. Made it, stuck the landing.

[Patton]: Aw, Logan, come on! We need ya at the table if we're gonna be learning.

[Logan]: Please. It has become quite clear that me co-signing all of your ridiculous antics is just a formality. When all of you decided on using puppets to address a serious issue, logic was already figuratively thrown out the window.

[Roman]: -sigh- Again, you don't have to use the word "figuratively". We KNOW that you weren't literally thrown out of a window!

[Logan]: How? Have you been watching me constantly?

[Patton]: Don't assume, Roman! You know what happens when you assume? You make an "as" out of "su" and "me".

[Logan]: -sigh- Thank you, Patton. I just don't want to concern anybody by suggesting I was thrown through a window. I wanted to communicate "Five by Five" that I'm "Five by Five".

[Thomas]: It's okay, Roman. His intentions are there. I mean who does... going above and beyond with clarity hurt?

[Roman]: Going above and beyond? Ah ha ha ha ha ha. More like going overboard. It's stupid.

[Logan]: -intakes breath- -crumbles up flashcard- GAAAHH!! -throws crumpled paper at Roman-

[Roman]: -hit in the eye- OW! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh...

[Patton]: -worried- Meep meep!

[Roman]: You hit me in the eye. You hit me in the eye, you freaking BOOKGERM!

[Virgil]: Geez, L, that was pretty rough.

[Logan]: I-I'm sorry. I-I don't know what that was. Maybe I should go.

[Patton]: NO! We are NOT about to leave it there, mister! We can't continue this convo... if you're gone-zo.

[Thomas]: That's right! Look, Logan... You can be like one of those Sesame Street human friends!

[Logan]: Like Maria?

[Thomas]: Like Maria!

[Logan]: Okay. I mean, a more accurate comparison would be that you're our Big Bird and we're all your... Snuffleupagodes.

[Thomas]: Eh, pre-1985! Before they canonically confirmed that Snuffleupagus wasn't imaginary!

[Logan]: Of course. Mm. -quietly- Clarity.

[Roman]: Hmph.

[Logan]: Okay, so... You're puppets. Care to explain to me how this is going to help?

[Patton]: Well, we could start by having an open and honest conversation about our feelings.

[Thomas]: -deep breath-

[Roman & Virgil]: Mmmm...

[Thomas]: I don't think so.

[Roman]: Yeah, I don't like that.

[Virgil]: I'd rather go live in a garbage can.

[Patton]: No, really! This is important, guys! Thomas, you have to face your feelings head-on! Tell me... ♪ Do you ever feel like a paper bag? ♪

[Thomas]: Wh- I thought we were talking about a loop!

[Patton]: Well, how do you suppose we get out of the loop, Mister Looper?

[Thomas]: Well, I guess I don't know... But I mean... like, what do I have to feel bad about? I mean, really. Like yeah, I feel iffy with my videos. So what?

[Roman]: -sighs-

[Thomas]: Big deal. The "problems" I have wouldn't even exist without all of the incredible privileges I've received. I should feel lucky. I asked for this. So, I- I don't feel like I have a right to feel this way, but—

[Patton]: Thomas, that's ridiculous. Now, should you count your blessings? Absolutely! Lots of people are way worse off!

[Thomas]: Oh.

[Patton]: Yeah, I should not have said that as cheery as I did. But! You shouldn't feel guilty for having feelings. Sure, sometimes your feelings may not make sense, but it's not your feelings job to make sense! You just... experience them. And you have to do your best to deal with them.

[Thomas]: Well that... makes sense.

[Patton]: Not talking about them... is not dealing with them.

[Thomas]: Yeah, but I don't even know where to begin talking about my feelings because I don't understand them right now.

[Virgil]: Maybe you won't have to understand your feelings if you fix the problem.

[Patton]: W-Well...

[Virgil]: Logan's gonna cool it with the deadlines.

[Logan]: What?

[Roman]: Mwah! Thank you!

[Virgil]: Too much pressure.

[Logan]: Oh, I'm sorry. Except I'm not! Are the deadlines really the cause of that pressure or is it, mm.. I don't know... Roman's inability to perform adequately!

[Roman]: Ah! No!

[Virgil]: Well, it's a little of that.

[Roman]: Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl... WHAT?!

[Logan]: Exactly, boom.

[Virgil]: Look dude, doesn't it make sense to think you have something to do with this? The issue has to do with creating content AND his pride? That's a lot of you.

[Roman]: Well, pardon me... Vomity Central! But when were either of you the experts on creative content? Who are you to criticize MY WORK?!

[Virgil]: Oh my gosh. What is up your butt?

[Roman]: ...AN ARM!

[Thomas]: Okay. I think it's clear... that pointing fingers is getting us nowhere. So, let's avoid that.

[Patton]: -points- Agreed... Oh! Butterfingers!

[Virgil]: -under breath- Uh, that's not what butterfingers means.

[Thomas]: Logan, would it be fair to say that with all this arguing, order is not actually being obtained?

[Logan]: Perhaps we are in a state of disorder because no one is adhering to my instruction.

[Thomas]: Okay, okay! Well, okay! Well, I'm happy to hear you out then. What do you think we should do, Logan?

[Patton]: Yeah, Logan, help us out! What can you tell us about learning new things about ourselves?

[Logan]: Well, it all goes back to the point YOU made earlier, Patton. Asking the right question: Why?

[Roman]: That's right. Today's video is brought to you by the letter Y!

[Logan]: No, stop it. Stop. The QUESTION, why! W-H-Y: "Why?" So much of what you feel Thomas comes down to whether or not your actions are aligning with your goals.

[Patton]: -gasps- Oh, I think I get it!

[Logan]: What?

[Patton]: Yeah!

*new scene; ala The Electric Company*

[Patton]: Why do you make videos?

[Thomas]: Because they're fun.

[Patton]: Why did you make it a job?

[Thomas]: So, I can support myself, and so I can try bigger things.

[Patton]: Why did your old friend's question stick with you?

[Thomas]: Because...

*end scene*

[Thomas]: Because I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing for a living.

[Logan]: Okay, interesting! Elaborate on that, and nobody do any puppet bits!

[Patton]: Well, that was from The Electric Company—

[Logan]: Shh! Thomas!

[Thomas]: I don't know, I guess... you know, as far as I know, we get one life, and... I guess I have doubts about... whether or not I'm making the most of mine.

[Logan]: Okay, we're getting somewhere expand upon those doubts.

[Thomas]: Oh, man, uhh... I... I don't even know where to go from there.

[Logan]: I mean, if you asked me, I could certainly list off several factors that very well could be contributing to your doubts...


[Logan]: If you asked me, I'd gladly share them.

[Roman]: Well... -sighs-

[Virgil]: -grumbling-

[Logan]: Just let me know if you want to hear what I have to say—

[Virgil]: -unenthusiastically- Hey, Logan, can you list off some of those factors you mentioned?

[Logan]: I'm glad you asked, Virgil. Firstly, there's no job security. I mean, people fall out of public favor very quickly.

[Virgil]: -a la Count Von Count- One. One cause of unease! AH AH AH!

[Logan]: ...You're balancing a great deal of responsibilities. People have limits. Perhaps you can't continue at this pace indefinitely.

[Virgil]: Two! Two nervous thoughts! AH AH AH!

[Logan]: Your work is inessential. Some may claim that they've been "inspired" by one thing you've said or another, but who's to say they couldn't have found the inspiration they needed elsewhere.

[Virgil]: Three. Three depressing speculations... Ah ah ah...

[Logan]: And oh, oh! I can think of another one. No one takes you seriously!

[Patton]: Oh.

[Virgil]: Four... Four uncomfortable characters in this room... right now.

[Thomas]: Logan, is that really what you think?

[Logan]: Thomas, I have held back my opinions for too long. And that's obviously not benefiting you. I refuse to withhold my perspective any longer. You need to get a real job.

[Roman]: Hey, yeah... like being a movie star!

[Logan]: No! A real job!

[Patton]: -disappointed sigh-

[Virgil]: Sheesh, ya sloppily eat some jam, accidentally make a few puns, and now you're all sensitive about not being taken seriously?

[Logan]: I'm not a joke! I mean... I... can't be thought of as such, because there will be times in which I must be heeded and given our... current circumstances... I clearly haven't been. So, I'm saying what must be said. I can't tolerate this foolishness any longer. You need to change your life around.

[Virgil]: Logan, I... appreciate what you bring to the table and all, but... the thing you just recommended would be a MASSIVE change in Thomas' life. So... I kind of hate you a little bit right now and... Shut your dirty mouth.

[Logan]: Ah, typical.

[Thomas]: I don't know, Virge. Maybe he's right. Maybe that's the cause of all this.

[Virgil]: Thomas, don't start. I have plenty of hate to go around...

[Patton]: Oh, very funny, Virgil, ya cute little muffin! Thomas, you know he doesn't mean it. And Logan, that was... helpful! When the chips were down you brought up some very meaty points, ya old cracker jack! But this stuff is more than just silly or cheesy, and I'm sorry I keep bringing up food. It's just the inside of this bag smells like first grade lunch in the cafeteria and so many memories!

[Roman]: Patton, -snaps- stay with us.

[Patton]: Sorry. Boy, I really MILKED that bit. Wocka Wocka!

[Roman]: What I think Patton was trying to say is that Logan has just proven that he's the worst and that he's been the thorn in your side all along.

[Virgil]: Could you even contribute like an ounce of constructive input to our conversation today, Doctor Do-the-Most?

[Roman]: Okay, why don't you just go get lost in a dryer?

[Virgil]: You know Roman, it's too bad your brain isn't as big as that chin.

[Roman]: Well, you smell like FOOT!

[Thomas]: Roman.

[Roman]: No, Thomas, I know. That wasn't helpful. In truth... I do feel bad.

[Thomas]: You do?

[Roman]: ...Yes.

[Virgil]: Well then maybe you should say you're sorry.

[Roman]: You're right.

[Virgil]: Oh, really?

[Roman]: Logan.

[Virgil]: Okay.

[Roman]: Earlier... I made you angry. I do that... quite a bit actually... I provoked you and you retaliated with violence. -under breath- ...Like a stupid caveman. But! I am responsible for my actions and my actions alone. So, I'm sorry.

[Logan]: Oh, well, that's... very kind.

[Roman]: Okay, well, I gave that a shot. I still feel bad.

[Patton]: Well, why not try expressing your feelings in a way that makes sense for you!

[Roman]: Well, that might work. Let's see... -clears throat- Maestro?

*jazz accompaniment begins*

[Logan]: Oh, uh, what? No...

[Roman]: ♪ So, you've gone and called someone stupid... And in response, they damaged your eye. But there is where the conflict must end. Lest you both end up blind. ♪

[Logan]: Another song? Really?

[Roman]: ♪ Sometimes the problems at play are not all plain to see. So, we lash out at our loved ones disregarding our bonds' sanctity! ♪

[Patton]: ♪ There are several sides to us that may seem abstract at first until we discover where everything fits and... People can be like a half-missing puzzle set. As we find the pieces, things make more and more sense! ♪

[Thomas]: Nice imagery, but I'm not sure I follow...

[Patton]: Well, I'll give you an example... I had this problem where I'd often hide my less-than-awesome feelings so when I would feel like sobbing, I'd just smile and crack jokes! I thought that that was coping. Only joking, never showing sadness, hoping it would go away.

[Logan]: Did that work?

[Patton]: Nope! ♪ I felt bad. ♪

[Roman]: Aw, Pat...

[Patton]: ♪ It's okay! ♪

[Thomas]: How's that?

[Patton]: ♪ Everybody gets sad. Even dads that have people to care for! And therefore, you don't have to hide your pain. Life without rainy days is incomplete! ♪ Or, like, not even a thing, ya know? Rain goes to plants, plants feed animals, plant-eating animals feed animal eating animals, and humans feed animals corn and inject them with hormones until they can barely walk anymo-

[Thomas]: Patton?

[Patton]: Yes?

[Thomas]: How does all that relate to rain?

[Patton]: Oh, right, rainy days. Forgot what I was talking about! Um, putting it simply, rain is a necessary piece of the puzzle that is... uh, life.

[Logan]: -unenthusiastically- So true... Are we done singing, or is this just one of those musical interludes?

[Virgil]: On the subject of storm clouds... Cause, ya know... you need storm clouds to make rain... I'm just gonna get into it. -clears throat- You once knew me as real gloomy. This weird, spooky, broody dude because I knew you'd listen to me as too scary to ignore. I thought that I could take it, all the hate could just be shaken, but when you lo... CARE for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn. I also felt bad.

[Roman]: Come now...

[Virgil]: ♪ In a different way. ♪

[Thomas]: Different, how?

[Virgil]: ♪ By "bad", I mean, well, "mean", but I did what I thought that I had to... which is bad, too! I don't have to act all tough. ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ Sometimes love is enough. ♪

[Patton]: ♪ Or what we need! ♪

[Logan]: That was a quaint little review of things that we already knew. Now, can our discourse resume? There's pressing matters at hand.

[Thomas]: Actually, that was for your benefit.

[Logan]: I don't see how THAT could be relevant.

[Patton]: Logan, please!

[Thomas]: Our goal's benevolent.

[Logan]: You know me, I don't care for sentiment.

[Roman]: OMG!

[Logan & Thomas]: This just serves as testament to the fact that

[Logan]: -at the same time- to me, you're negligent,

[Thomas]: -at the same time- you have a temperament,

[Logan & Thomas]: which is fine.

[Logan]: -at the same time- It just works to your detriment, you not letting me finish is proving my—

[Thomas]: -at the same time- You just haven't accepted it, if you'd let them finish, they'd get to the—

[Virgil]: Hey! ♪ You're lost. ♪

[Logan]: I'm right here.

[Virgil]: ♪ It's okay. ♪

[Logan]: You're acting weird...

[Virgil]: ♪ I was lost once, too, but thanks to all of you, life sucks less now. ♪

[Patton, Roman, & Thomas]: ♪ We're your best pals! ♪

[Virgil]: ♪ No one wants to be a joke— ♪

[Patton, Roman, & Thomas]: But a life free of jokes is incomplete!

[Roman]: Oh my gosh guys, if we're airing out our dirty laundry, would you mind if I participated?

[Thomas]: By all means, sure!

[Roman]: -hangs dirty socks on the line outside- Hmph. -goes back inside- I'd also like to contribute to this weird, venty song!

[Thomas]: Please do.

[Roman]: -clears throat- I've got an issue that feels new school. I don't want to say I'm too cool, but I'm just too fab for you fools and I feel like you don't get me!

[Thomas]: You insulted us WHILE venting.

[Roman]: Uh, sorry!

[Thomas]: It's alright, Princey. Honestly, it didn't hurt me. It's clear YOU'RE the one that's hurting.

[Roman]: Huh?

[Virgil]: ♪ You feel low. ♪

[Roman]: That's not true!

[Patton]: ♪ It's okay! ♪

[Roman]: Don't assume!

[Thomas]: ♪ You don't need to save face. ♪

[Virgil]: ♪ In almost any case, ♪

[Patton & Virgil]: ♪ we embrace you. ♪

[Roman]: That's rich...

[Virgil]: ♪ No one hates you. ♪

[Patton, Thomas, & Virgil]: ♪ Everybody's got flaws. ♪

[Thomas]: ♪ But with no you at all, I'm incomplete. ♪

[Patton & Virgil]: ♪ There! Now you see. ♪

[Patton, Roman, & Virgil]: ♪ Everybody goes wrong and we put it in song so it's easier to hear it. ♪

[Patton]: ♪ This puzzle's tough, I'll admit, but in time we'll find where everything fits. ♪

[Thomas]: Wow. Guys, that... really helped me feel better.

[Logan]: Wh- from th- how??

[Thomas]: I don't know. I don't have all of my feelings worked out, but... I don't know if that would have been reasonable to expect. Although... now I know where some of the issues are originating from.

[Roman]: -sighs- Me too.

[Logan]: Oh, DO you Roman?

[Roman]: They're originating with me. -sigh- Logan, I know that I act like I'm not concerned with schedules or numbers or anything, but I am! I know that we have a responsibility and I want everything to be the best it can be. It's just...

[Patton]: Keep going, Roman...

[Roman]: -sighs- It's so hard to create anything that I'm proud of when it's critiqued, so harshly... by you.

[Logan]: What?

[Roman]: Nothing ever seems to be good enough, professional enough... Serious enough for you.

[Logan]: I... didn't realize. Well... likewise, you think I'm not concerned with the quality of the product. I do hold that as a priority. I just... well, that's... not exactly MY specialty... Wait, I... I was getting frustrated that instead of carrying on with the conversation, we were stopping to sing that random song, but... the song was PART of the conversation!

[Patton]: Well, yeah! Sometimes talking about feelings can be scary or... -deep breath- overwhelming. And it's easier to partial them out in different ways! Better that than internalizing them and hoping they'll go away!

[Roman]: It... did make things easier.

[Logan]: So these things that we do sometimes... While they are... silly. They can also be constructive and effective...

[Virgil]: No matter what we do, logic always has a part to play, Logan.

[Logan]: Maybe so. Perhaps there is room for me to participate in the conveyance of ideas through... unconventional means.

[Thomas]: Logan, that's exactly what I needed to hear. Knowing that, no matter the medium, information, ideas, and art can be expressed...

[Logan]: Effectually and intelligently.

[Patton]: Maybe it's time to ask yourself another important question...

[Thomas]: Why did I never question people's belittling views on what I do? I always thought people were fair to not take my work seriously. I never considered the subjectivity of what CAN be taken seriously!

[Patton]: -switches back to original form- Oh my goodness! Breakthrough! I'm getting emotional! Virgil! HUG ME! Aah!

[Virgil]: Oh, don't hug me. I'm scared.

[Logan]: Alright, maybe there's some knowledge out there that I... wasn't privy to before. Not that I was wrong! But... I should be open to more sources. Roman... I suppose... I could... be less judgmental... with each idea... you... create.

[Roman]: -switches back to original form- Er... Thank you, Logan, that, um... that helps.

[Virgil]: -switches back to original form- Thank god, I can move my arms again.

[Logan]: I-I don't suppose there's anything that I could do to make it up to you?

[Roman]: Aw... Yes, you can become a puppet.

[Patton]: Aaahh!!

[Virgil]: Only if you want to!

[Logan]: No, you three have proven that it is a worthy form of communicating ideas. So...

[Thomas]: Whoa.

[Logan]: -takes the form of a robot puppet- -mechanical noises- -beep- There, ahem, I am a puppet.

[Patton]: gasps- -taking his glasses off and on- Wooooow! -hits own eye with glasses- OW!

[Roman]: You Iron... Giant... Nerd!

[Patton]: You look really good, Logan!

[Virgil]: Oh, wow... you're not made of felt.

[Logan]: Of course not. I've never felt anything in my life.

[Roman]: Oh, brother.

[Thomas]: Seriously, though, thank you, guys. Patton, you were right! When it comes to learning... puppets can still be... pretty efficacious.

[Logan]: Beep boop! I'm detecting a good word that was used by: Thomas. You're right, this is actually quite... uh, invigorating.

[Patton]: It just goes to show you that it's better to talk about your feelings than keep them inside! It's a really great way to begin to work through your issues. Mm-hmm!

[Virgil]: Well, then, um... While we're talking about things, Patton.

[Patton]: Yeah, kiddo?

[Virgil]: I don't always like... when you talk about me like I'm some... innocent, harmless... angel.

[Patton]: Oh.

[Virgil]: It-It just- it kind of makes me feel weird. Not in a- not in a... wei-uh... weird... way-um... It takes away some of my uh... thunder...

[Patton]: Oh, okay! You got it, Virgil.

[Roman]: Look at this! Looks like Thomas wasn't the only one who needed to learn new things about himself today! -laughs-

[Logan]: Hmm, And I am always one for learning. So, you're all better now, right, Roman?

[Roman]: Ah... Maybe not... but I won't shy away from that fact any longer!

[Logan]: Well, you... have my support. High five?

[Roman]: Oh. Okay.

[Logan]: -stretches arm to Roman- -mechanical whirring- -buzz-

[Roman]: You did the stretchy arm!

[Thomas]: Ah, it's not as gross when a robot does it!

[Logan & Roman]: -high five-

[Roman]: Yes!

[Virgil]: Hopefully, this means a little peace and quiet...

[Thomas]: Virgil, I owe you and Patton for pushing me to find a solution!

[Virgil]: Like we said, a, uh... dynamic duo! High five?

[Patton]: Sock it to me! -laughs-

[Virgil]: Yeah... -stretching noise-

[Patton & Virgil]: -arms stretch; missing each other- Oh!

[Virgil]: Ok, wha- uh.

[Patton]: Hold on. I didn't know you were gonna...

[Thomas]: -gagging-

[Patton]: it, too. Ok, hold on. -stretching noise- I got it.

[Virgil]: Yeah, no, I thought I'd go in this time.

[Virgil]: Wait.

[Thomas]: -gagging-

[Patton]: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.

[Virgil]: No, it's all good. Ow.

[Thomas]: What are you doing? No...

[Virgil]: Wait. Wait. Annnd...

[Patton & Virgil]: -successfully high five-

[Patton]: Ah! Got it! -nervous laughter-

[Virgil]: Ok. Yeah... Figured it out.

[Patton]: It... just took a second...

[Thomas]: Good job...

[Logan]: Um... one last question... Can you tell me how to get—

[Patton, Roman, & Virgil]: ♪ How to get to Sesame Street! ♪ -sink out-

[Logan]: No, no! How to, uh... How to get back to my normal self. I seem to be stuck. -sinks out-

[Thomas]: -to viewers- Well, today was definitely a learning experience for me on multiple levels. Perhaps there's not a glaring issue that we face, but... Asking ourselves the right questions could get us to the bottom of our feelings. Problems won't be solved all at once. It's unrealistic to expect that. But it is important to talk about things, especially concerning reoccurring problems, to think critically about them, not ignore them... and hope they'll pass. It's okay if nothing gets fixed right away. You've taken an important first step. You looked at the puzzle, and hopefully got your hands on that first edge piece. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!

[Logan, Patton, Roman, Thomas, & Virgil]: -all sides pop up in puppet form- BYE!

*new scene*

[Thomas]: Before we head to the end card, I have to thank today's sponsor, Skillshare, for making this video possible! Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes in design, technology, and even lessons in learning, which I think is appropriate for this video. I went on there, searched their database. I know so many of you out there are creative individuals. They have classes in art and writing and so many more. So, if you are looking to improve your skills in those fields, it definitely is worth it to check out Skillshare. Premium membership gives you unlimited access to high-quality classes from experts working in their field, so you can improve your skills, unlock new opportunities, and do the work you love. On top of all this, Skillshare is less expensive than most learning platforms out there. For an annual subscription, it comes out to less than $10 a month. And the first five-hundred people to sign up using this link or by clicking the link down in the description will get their first two months free, so you got nothing to lose for the first two months. Definitely worth it to try it. Also, remember that hat that Logan was wearing early in the video? The Cogitating Cap? Well now... you can have your very own! It is now available at our store, Hopefully if you guys visit that site, you'll find something that catches your eye. Any purchases you guys make over there help to make videos like these possible! Obviously, if you don't have the funds right now to purchase anything, don't worry about it, because we appreciate any and all support you guys do provide through your kind messages, your fan art, your cosplay. Seriously, it just boosts our morale and keeps us going, so thank you all so much for every bit of support you can and do provide. It is greatly appreciated!

*new scene; in the end card format*

[Thomas]: One more thing before the end card, you guys, I cannot end this video without giving a huge "thank you" and shout out to Adam Kreutinger and Nate Begle. Adam Kreutinger made all of the puppets you saw in this video today. He worked from designs Joan came up with and created these amazing puppets. I've fallen in love with all of them. And they were all brought to life by Nate Begle. He came in and dedicated a whole day to make this video happen. Puppeteering is way harder than you'd ever think it would be! We realized very quickly we weren't gonna be able to master puppeteering in the short amount of time we had to get this video up, so Nate stepped in and Nate is wonderful at it! You can check out everything Adam's creating right here, and everything Nate has to offer right here at their websites. Thank you guys so much for making the video everything it was. It was awesome. I loved it! Ha-ha...

*end card*

[Roman]: Ah! My favorite part of the video.

[Patton]: Oh, the end card?

[Roman]: Yeah.

[Patton]: Because of our unfettered silliness?

[Roman]: Nope. Because it's almost over!

[Patton & Roman]: -a la Statler and Waldorf- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[Logan]: What are they doing?

[Virgil]: -sigh- It's a puppet bit, just ignore them.

[Roman]: Boy, I can't believe Thomas worked out another issue!

[Patton]: Ahhh is there anything he CAN'T work out??

[Roman]: Yeah. His body.

[Patton & Roman]: -a la Statler and Waldorf- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[Logan]: I have no idea what this is, but... this is highly entertaining.

[Virgil]: Oh boy...

[Roman]: -yawn- Well, now that that's all settled, I'm ready for a little relaxation.

[Patton]: Well, I got some good news for ya!

[Roman]: What's that?

[Patton]: You'll get a LOT of relaxation because it'll probably be another six months until the NEXT Sanders Sides!

[Patton & Roman]: -a la Statler and Waldorf- Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[Virgil]: If you guys are right about that one, I'm gonna... Uh, I'm gonna, like... frickin' lose it.

[Logan]: Uh, agreed.

Transcriptsv · d · e
Season 1 My True Identity! · WAY TOO ADULT · Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!! · A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! · The Dark Side of Disney! · I'M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! · The MIND vs. The HEART! · Alone on VALENTINE'S DAY! · Losing My Motivation · Sanders Sides Q&A · AM I ORIGINAL? · My NEGATIVE Thinking · Growing Up · Making Some Changes! · Becoming a CARTOON! feat. Butch Hartman! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?
Season 2 Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!) · MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia · MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup · The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! · Can LYING Be Good?? · Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · Crofters - THE MUSICAL! Learning New Things About Ourselves · EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas! · Selfishness v. Selflessness · Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS · Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux
Sanders Asides Are There Healthy Distractions? · Flirting with Social Anxiety · Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts
Extras BLOOPER REEL! · Sanders Sides - BEHIND THE SCENES Q&A! · BLOOPER REEL!! The Bloop Strikes Back! · Behind the Scenes Featurette: Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · 5 Sanders Sides Behind the Scenes Facts (Learning New Things About Ourselves)