Sanders Sides Wiki

[Thomas]: I don’t really know what funny thing to do before this video. So do you want to just do impressions of sound effects? Dominic, go.

[Dominic]: -squeaking-

[Thomas]: Lamination on a book, nice. Joan?

[Joan]: Snorkel!

[Thomas]: What was that?

[Joan]: That was a diving instructor saying the word "snorkel".

[Thomas]: Gotcha. Derionna?

[Derionna]: -ship horn noise-

[Thomas]: Hmm. You guys are really bad at impressions.

[Kyle]: -record scratching sound-


[Joan & Thomas]: What is up, everybody?!

[Joan]: Sorry, I thought this was my YouTube channel.

[Thomas]: Today, I’m with my friends, and we are going to be playing the Shoe Stack Challenge! You guys know how this works?

[Derionna, Dominic, Joan, & Kyle]: No.

[Thomas]: Basically, we’re going to start off by taking off all our shoes—

[Derionna]: Okay?

[Kyle]: Um, I took mine off at the door.

[Thomas]: Well, go get them, Kyle. Come on. Geez. And we’re gonna stack one shoe after another in a person’s arms until they can’t hold anymore.

[Derionna]: What?

[Thomas]: And the last person to add their shoe to the pile to make the shoe-holder drop all the shoes has to smell every single shoe in that pile.

[Dominic]: Uh, I’m not smelling anyone’s shoes.

[Kyle]: Yeah, me neither.

[Thomas]: Guys, c’mon.

[Joan]: Wh-What if the shoe-holder decides to intentionally drop all the shoes to make that shoe-stacker smell all of the shoes?

[Thomas]: Well, I would hope that you all are good people and you will respect the rules of the game.

[Joan]: You shouldn’t.

[Thomas]: Okay, Derionna, you’re first.

[Derionna]: Nope! Not touching anyone’s shoes.

[Thomas]: You- you gotta, it’s the game.

[Kyle]: Um, this does NOT sound like a fun game.

[Thomas]: Well, I didn’t think of anything else to do today, so—

[Dominic]: Clearly.

[Joan]: Yeah, it just sounds like you wanted to play Jenga, but you decided to shoehorn a couple other elements into it.

[Thomas]: Well, maybe, but we still—

[Joan]: "Shoehorned"?

[Thomas]: No, yeah, I got it. But you know, we still gotta, -everyone starts leaving- play the game, so—

[Dominic]: Listen. Why don’t we come back when you have a plan that’s a little more ironed out... and doesn’t involve smelling other people’s shoes?

[Thomas]: Um... Okay, I guess, um... Bye, everyone.

[Logan]: -pops up-

*door closes*

[Logan]: Thomas, I trust I don't have to explain to you just how weird that was.

[Thomas]: Ugh, I know, Logan, I know. Not one of my better game ideas.

[Logan]: I'd say so. Where on earth did you come up with that?

[Thomas]: Uh, my house.

[Logan]: Of course. How did you come up with it?

[Thomas]: Ah man, it just came to me... right after I asked my friends to come over and I hit record on that there camera.

[Logan]: What? You've... known that you had to make a video today.

[Thomas]: Yeah. I did know... that.

[Logan]: Okay, so what is this about?

[Thomas]: I don’t know, I guess I just... wasn’t... feeling it today.

[Logan]: Feeling what? And do not say—

[Thomas]: Motivated.

[Logan]: Mmmmmm...! That is what I thought you were going to say. Thomas didn't we work through your motivation issues on, mmm... -looking through planner- February 28th of last year? Planning was the key to helping you.

[Thomas]: You’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right.

[Logan]: Well, now you're just pandering to my fondness for being told that I'm right.

[Thomas]: You’re right! Looks like I just need to buckle down and work harder to plan things out in the future. If you all find yourselves lacking motivation or procrastinating—

[Logan]: Okay, now you're just... recycling the very same monologue that you delivered at the end of the Losing Motivation video. You can click here to see that.

[Thomas]: Ahhh, you got me again. I guess I lacked the motivation necessary to write a unique conclusion to this video.

[Logan]: Or the motivation necessary to write a more subtle joke, apparently.

[Thomas]: But it’ll be better from here on out. It was just today. Today was just a flute.

[Logan]: You mean a "fluke"?

[Thomas]: I...

[Logan]: A flute is a wind instrument and a fluke is an unlikely occurrence.

[Thomas]: Ah, knowledge. That’s why I love you, Logan. Today was a flu—

[Logan]: Unacceptable, Thomas! I will not have you lying to yourself.

[Deceit]: You called?

[Thomas]: Gah! Deceit!

[Deceit]: -pops up- -evil chucking-

[Thomas]: Get out!

[Deceit]: -sinks out-

[Thomas]: Leave me alone, you slippery snake!

[Deceit]: -flips Thomas off on his way down-

[Thomas]: Ah, really? Double birds?

[Logan]: See? See what happens?

[Thomas]: Yeah, he’s a slimy boi.

[Logan]: Alright, well...

[Thomas]: A slimy boi, Logan!

[Logan]: I think his scales are just smooth. To the best of my knowledge, he does not excrete slime.

[Thomas]: No- it just- okay well. What if I really sincerely, try to plan and get motivated... with all my heart.

[Logan]: You can tell yourself that all you want, Thomas, but I think there's something more at the core of this issue. Maybe it's time that we take a look at the bigger picture here.

[Thomas]: -exhales- You’re talking about that picture?

[Logan]: Yes, I still don't quite understand it.

[Thomas]: I-I just liked it, Logan. I don’t know why you’re so confused about it, like, this is, like, the seventh time you’ve asked about it.

[Logan]: Never mind. It- It doesn't matter. Now that we've looked at that, let's return to the task at hand. Although... The big picture has me thinking... If you fully understand what it's all for... could that be enough to motivate you?

[Thomas]: What do you mean by "it"?

[Logan]: All of it. Everything that you do. But, in order to look at that... we will need Roman. -summons Roman-

[Roman]: -pulled up by hair- Yah! Ah!

[Thomas]: Whoa, whoa.

[Roman]: Ugh, you suck at summoning, Logan! You pulled my hair!

[Logan]: I apologize. I usually don't call others in. Typically, I can just work things out on my own.

[Thomas]: And yet this time you called someone... and it was Roman?

[Roman]: Oh, I know. Two tickets to Surprise City, you and me, right? I get the window seat.

[Logan]: You encompass many of Thomas' hopes and dreams. It would be foolish not to include you in a discussion concerning Thomas' hopes and dreams.

[Roman]: Yeah, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about me behind my back.

[Logan]: Oh, I wouldn't talk about you behind your back. You would still hear everything I was saying. I would talk about you in another room.

[Roman]: Fair enough.

[Logan]: Of course, you and I have had our... differences. We disagree on many things.

[Roman]: Gahhhhhh... Understatement much?

[Logan]: Wow. But, there is one subject matter on which we have always agreed that Thomas needs improvement: how he spends his time.

[Roman]: True that, Pat.

[Logan]: I'm... I'm Logan.

[Roman]: Oh, shoot. I’m sorry. It’s the glasses, it throws me off.

[Logan]: I don't believe you. I think you're just being a jerk.

[Roman]: Uh—

[Logan]: Anyway, I have a hypothesis about why our efforts to push Thomas towards a more productive lifestyle have been unsuccessful. -cut to a fitting storytelling format for Logan, specifically in the style of an AsapSCIENCE video- There's a disconnect between what needs to be done and Thomas' understanding of why it needs to be done. If we can manage to make the items on Thomas' to-do list serve as regular reminders of Thomas' endgame, then I believe we will see some improvement in his productivity.

*cut back*

[Roman]: Meaning that the tasks themselves will motivate Thomas to perform said tasks. -gasp- Bravo, Logan.

[Thomas]: See what happens when you guys work together—

[Roman]: Gah! Thomas, can you let the grown-ups work this one out. Thank you, thank you.

[Logan]: It would be better if you just listened.

[Thomas]: Alright.

[Roman]: You’re like the myth of the great man baby. Looks like a man, acts like a baby!

[Thomas]: I’ll be quiet.

[Logan]: So now, we are tasked with reminding Thomas about, putting it simply, why he does everything he does.

[Roman]: Oh, well, I’ll gladly explain that to you Thomas. Oh, I mean, we’ll gladly explain that to you. -stretches elbow to Logan's area-

[Logan]: Woah, whoa! What the?! No!

[Thomas]: AHHHH!!!

[Logan]: Get it... Get it back!

[Roman]: -stretches elbow back- It’s all about achieving ultimate -cut to a fitting storytelling format for Roman, specifically in the style of a cutout puppet show- fame, riches, and living in a mansion hidden by a waterfall on the side of a mountain.

*cut back*

[Logan]: Wait, what? No! Uh, apparently our viewpoints do not align as much as I thought what they did.

[Roman]: Oh? I’m sorry, what aspect of that picture I just painted didn’t sound perfect?

[Logan]: For starters... -cut to Logan's format- Financial security is nice, but the term riches doesn't have any set value. That makes "riches" a potentially unattainable goal. A millionaire doesn't look very wealthy standing next to... Oprah Winfrey. Every time we reach a predetermined goal, we may very well decide that said goal isn't rich enough. That's the danger with pursuing riches. It can be defined in almost any way.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Totally! I mean, in The Witcher 3, if you wish for Master Mirror to make you rich, he only gives you like five thousand crowns. Like, that’s rich, Master Mirror? It costs, like, two thousand crowns to get a good piece of armor.

[Logan]: I never thought I would be able to say this without seeming like a hypocrite... but you are a huge nerd.

[Roman]: Mhm.

[Logan]: As for your other point: -cut to Logan's format- notoriety does have its advantages, especially in regards to opportunities that might have otherwise been unavailable to you. It opens many doors, if you will. That said, you already suffer from severe social anxiety and the more widely recognized you become, the more frequently strangers will approach you in public when you are unprepared to socialize.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Hmph...

[Virgil]: -pops up- You called?

[Logan]: Oh, I'm- I'm sorry. No.

[Roman]: We’re just chatting.

[Virgil]: Alright, alright. Just be careful what you talk about. Because I’m listening. -starts to sink out-

[Thomas]: Hi, Virgil!

[Virgil]: -pops back up- Sup, Thomas. -sinks out again-

[Roman]: Okay, well... What about my mansion?

[Logan]: Oh yes, of course, that. -cut to Logan's format- What about it? It's stupid. There's a million reasons why that's a bad idea.

*cut back*

[Roman]: Okay. Well then, if my ideas are all so stupid, why don’t you explain why we must do everything that we do? Mr... Ssss... Smartypants.

[Logan]: Gladly. Thomas—

[Roman]: Geek squad? More like squad-less geek! Hahahaha. You’re alone!

[Logan]: Well, you're lashing out like a little bratty baby. I'm going to take the figurative high road and ignore your name-calling.

[Roman]: But you just called me a little bratty baby—

[Logan]: AH DUH DUH DUH DUH. Thomas must do everything that he does in the sole effort to sustain a viable life span conductive to the human body.

[Roman]: What? Boooooo.

[Thomas]: You don’t want me to live a long, healthy life?

[Roman]: I mean like sure, whatever, but like, why? What is it all for?

[Logan]: For that purpose alone. -cut to Logan's format- Life is an astronomically unlikely privilege and it should be taken very seriously. You must handle yours responsibly. To borrow some of the words of Alan Moore, "In human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until finally... against unfathomable odds, it is you, only you that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos... it's like turning air into gold."

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Holy sh—

[Roman]: Yes, but what is your reward for a lifetime of effort?

[Logan]: Life is the reward. I'll provide you with an illustration. -cut to Logan's format- Let's say that you're the type of person that really appreciates automobiles, and your Aunt Patty gifted you a Lamborghini. How would you treat it? Would you enter into a demolition derby and destroy it? No, you would keep it clean. You would keep it safe. And you would make sure that it sees all the necessary maintenance. Any behavior to the contrary would demonstrate a lack of appreciation for the gift you've been given.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Yeah...

[Roman]: Alright, listen, you want to bring visual metaphors into this? You got it. If you’ve been gifted this shiny car — -cut to Roman's format- rims of gold, windshield of diamond...

[Logan]: Windshield of diamond?

[Thomas]: Wooooooow—

*-cut back to scenario; sound of tires screeching and car crashing*

[Thomas]: Aw.

[Logan]: Yeah, that didn't sound like a very functional design plan.

[Roman]: Are you going to tend to it, protect it, and never actually take it out on the open road? Are you going to keep that noble steed cooped up in the stables for the entirety of its existence?

[Thomas]: ...Yes?

[Roman]: No! You’re gonna saddle up, see the sights, and ride it into the night!

[Logan]: You're mixing metaphors. We're talking about a car, not a horse.

[Roman]: Okay, Logan. A car, your example, is a man-made method of transportation, meaning it is designed to take you where you want to go. It’s not a trophy, it has a purpose. Your body should be treated the same way: as a vessel that takes you where you want to go in life! UH! Never fail to impress myself. Uh!

[Logan]: Well, the car in your illustration crashed, so I don't think it'll be taking you very far.

[Roman]: Oh, oh, also, you spoke of how our existence in exactly the form that it’s taken is a miracle, right?

[Logan]: Yes.

[Roman]: We beat the odds.

[Logan]: Sure.

[Roman]: We won the friggin’ existential lottery!

[Logan]: I hope you know my agreeing to a point that I made is not a win for you.

[Roman]: If we’re so lucky to be here, then why should we play it safe now?

[Logan]: Expand on you rhetorical questions, please? What do you mean by playing it safe?

[Roman]: Play it safe, ya know? Like, settling for a life that’s just "fine". You talk of maintaining this life that you’ve been given and that’s the point of it all, but -cut to Roman's format. Puppet Roman is walking up a large mountain, celebrating once reaching the top - the point to life can’t just be effort for efforts sake. That effort should go towards reaching some sort of peak.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Some sort of beak?

[Roman]: What? No.

[Thomas]: OH! Like climbing a tall tree all the way up to a bird’s nest. Birds have beaks, and from there, I will be able to take flight.

[Roman]: You know what? Sure. You took the long way around, but we got there.

[Thomas]: Yeah.

[Roman]: A high point. Everyone’s got a dream. We all remember the song from Tangled. And they’re typically not easy to achieve. But! We cannot let that be a deterrent and we can’t take half measures. -cut to Roman's format- We must hold our craft, or crafts if you want to be a Renaissance man, Thomas.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Maybe.

[Roman]: Everything we do must be in service to realizing our dreams.

[Logan]: Everything he does can't be an effort to realize his dreams. What about eating? Thomas isn't Pac-Man, he can't eat his way to victory.

[Thomas]: Mm, that does sound awesome though. May I try it?

[Logan]: As for "reaching your peak" is concerned—

[Thomas]: Uh, uh, it’s- it’s "beak".

[Logan]: Whatever. There is always a chance that something will bar us from crossing the metaphorical finish line. Yes, we're lucky to be alive in the first place, but luck runs out. This life is uncertain. We can't predict each twist and turn like we might be able to if this was a scripted series.

[Thomas]: Nods in agreement.

[Roman]: Thomas, that wasn’t dialogue.

[Thomas]: What? -looks at script- Oh! -nods in agreement-

[Logan]: One thing that is well within Thomas' ability is keeping his body healthy, so that should be the priority. Pursuing your passions is all fine and good, but at the end of the day, you must come first. The human being, not some hypothetical best-case scenario.

[Roman]: Wow. Someone doesn’t like happily ever afters. Okay, Pain in the Nexas Instrument. What does Thomas putting himself first mean to you?

[Logan]: I'm so glad you asked you quixotic, quarrelsome, quaaaaaaaa... I'm not good at nicknames.

[Roman]: Nope.

[Thomas]: It was a good start, though.

[Logan]: But to answer your question, Roman, healthy habits. -cut to Logan's format- Take for instance the sleeping schedule we've gone over before. We've stressed its importance, but WHY is it important? A consistent sleep schedule helps with one's circadian rhythm, which is basically a twenty-four-hour internal clock. One important function of that clock is ensuring hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released about one hour before you need to wake up. This allows your body to gently wake up naturally, preparing you for when the alarm clock goes off.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Wait, so is that why some days I’ll sleep in but still feel drowsy?

[Logan]: Precisely! And when that's the case, how can one enjoy the rest of their day? So, how to maintain your circadian rhythm: maintain your sleeping habits. This includes turning off electronic devices thirty minutes before going to bed.

[Thomas]: But Twitter!

[Logan]: Nope.

[Roman]: Tumblr?

[Logan]: No.

[Thomas]: Tinder?

[Logan]: No.

[Roman]: Twinster.

[Logan]: Now you are just making things up.

[Roman]: Actually, no. It’s an app that shows you what you’d look like if you had an identical twin. -Holds up a phone with the app on it. It shows the same exact photo of Roman twice, except in one photo he's wearing sunglasses- See? Wow, my twin kind of looks like you, Logan.

[Logan]: -cut to Logan's format- Absolutely no technology thirty minutes before bed. -cut back- Also, -cut to Logan's format- you should only associate your bed with sleep. cut back; only to go back shortly after* ...And one other thing. So only use it for those two things. No working or eating in bed.

[Thomas]: Ugh. Okay, well there goes Friday night pancake and pillow fights.

[Roman]: It’s funny the way you phrase that sounds like you would be fighting with both pillows and pancakes.

[Thomas]: That’s exactly what it was. It was a disaster. I'm- I’m not sad to see it go.

[Logan]: One of the most important aspects of any sleep schedule -cut to Logan's format- is going to bed and waking up at the same time every day.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Except weekends.

[Logan]: -cut to Logan's format- Even on weekends.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Bro! ...gan.

[Roman]: Uhh, okay, dad.

[Patton]: -pops up- You called?

[Roman]: Oh! Uh. No, I was just, um... making fun of Logan.

[Patton]: Oh, sounds like all you’re doing is calling him a cool guy!

[Logan]: See him? That's Patton, Roman. Alright? See this? Serious business. That...? Silliness.

[Patton]: -laughs- Alright, you guys, play nice. -stars to sink out-

[Thomas]: Love you, Patton!

[Patton]: -pops back up- Love you, Thomas! -sinks out again-

[Logan]: And Thomas, this should be an easy note, yet you do this all the time. Do NOT eat large meals right before bedtime.

[Thomas]: But a big meal makes me sleepy!

[Logan]: You may think so, but your body still has to digest that food, which makes it very difficult to fall asleep. -cut to Logan's style format- Gastric emptying can take around four hours to complete. If you're hungry before bed, -cut back- eat a small, healthy snack.

[Roman]: This snack over here is wondering if you’re finished or not.

[Logan]: Ah, that's only one healthy habit to work on. In the same vein as my last point, -cut to Logan's format- a proper eating schedule can be just as beneficial to Thomas' happiness and well-being. Food is important for energy and spreading food intake to smaller meals and snacks six to eight times a day, rather than three large meals a day, can prevent over-indulging.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: Whoa.

[Logan]: Drinking regularly is maybe even more important.

[Roman]: Aha! So with the boring lifestyle you’re proposing, Thomas has to get all boozed up to feel fulfilled!

[Logan]: No, I'm referring to oxidane, or water. The only, um... -holds up flashcard- "shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots" I endorse are vaccines.

[Roman]: Uh, you can... throw that vocab card away.

[Thomas]: It’s a little dated.

[Logan]: -tosses card away- Research shows that -cut to Logan's format- just one percent dehydration can negatively affect your mood, attention, memory, and motor coordination. If your blood lacks proper hydration, it could become concentrated, leading to increased blood pressure and quicker exhaustion, preventing you from performing more tasks throughout the day.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: -drinking water from blender- Mmhm, mmhm.

[Roman]: Why are you drinking out of a blender?

[Thomas]: Cause it’s the biggest container I have.

[Roman]: Great, you’ve pushed your extremist water agenda, are we good?

[Logan]: We also hear that exercise is good for you, but how is it good for you?

[Thomas]: How?

[Roman]: Ugghhhhh!

[Logan]: Well, just skimming the surface, any type of regular physical activity can help reduce the risk of several diseases. Like type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and cancer.

[Roman]: He’d be getting a great deal more physical exercise if he were out there seizing opportunities rather than in here going through an endless cycle of water guzzling!

[Logan]: Wow, Roman, you're still just not understanding the idea of balance, are you?

[Roman]: Balance? You want to talk about balance? Do you know how many tasks a day Thomas and everyone else must complete in a day? People of all ages have schoolwork, jobs, passions to pursue, corn... to eat. Ignore that last one. That’s just scratching the surface. There’s just too much stuff. There is no perfect balance.

[Logan]: It's still completely doable if you chart it out thusly. -cut to Logan's format- You must allocate an adequate amount of time for sleeping, you six daily meals, dental hygiene, general hygiene, exercise, work, and- um- pursuing your dreams, I guess.

*cut back*

[Roman]: -unimpressed- Wow, you’ve really got it all worked out, huh, Logan?

[Logan]: Yes.

[Thomas]: Alright, well, we started this conversation because of the videos, how do the videos fit into this?

[Logan]: -cut to Logan's format- It's your job. It's a nice job because it encourages you to research various topics, garner knowledge, and apply that knowledge. However, its primary benefit is providing income. Income that should go towards feeding yourself, paying rent so that you can have shelter from the elements, and so that you can afford medical help should you need it, et cetera, et cetera.

*cut back*

[Roman]: That’s what you think the primary benefit is?

[Logan]: That is why I want him motivated to make these videos. Knowing what these videos are doing in service to his creative aspirations and to the people watching is great and all, but being able to provide a stable day-to-day lifestyle is paramount and that should be the driving force that keeps you going.

[Thomas]: Wow.

[Roman]: Thomas, do not let him confound you with rhetorical devices and health... facts! He literally could do that with any topic he wanted to sound important, like... brushing your teeth.

[Logan]: -cut to Logan's format- If you don't brush your teeth, it could lead to gum disease, digestive issues, or even problems with the heart and other major organs.

*cut back*

[Roman]: -spits out toothpaste residue- See?

[Thomas]: Are you saying you don’t want me to brush my teeth?

[Roman]: No, I’m just saying that can’t be the bigger picture! Yes, you can abide this day-to-day routine, but what comes after? What is it all for?!

[Thomas]: Yeah...

[Roman]: Please tell me that that endless cycle isn’t all that you see for Thomas, Logan.

[Logan]: If you paid attention to my pie chart, -cut to Logan's format- you would have seen that there's time reserved for extracurricular. This is a super system.

*cut back*

[Roman]: Well, it sounds more like a peepee system.

[Logan]: Why didn't you say pooper system? That would have at least rhymed.

[Roman]: -cut to Roman's format- If you spend your days tending to yourself like a houseplant, you’ll never grown like a mighty elm.

*cut back*

[Logan]: Elms need tending.

[Roman]: ELMS TAKE CHANCES! -cut to Roman's format- Gotta make the canopy to get your share of precious sun before some other tree overshadows you.

*cut back*

[Thomas]: There’s lots of pretty imagery there.

[Roman]: Logan, you have crafted this overstuffed routine like a sculptor who builds statues out of horse dung. Do you think that if Mozart only had two minutes of piano practice every day, he would have been as prodigious as he was? You can’t throw away your days on mundanities. You must make your time count. Take, for instance, all the great artists of the Romantic era. All the wonderful works they’re remembered for. One of the main things they stressed was the importance of individuality. And it takes more time than Logan’s system allows to establish that.

[Thomas]: Huh.

[Roman]: Life’s rewards lie in sharpening your skills— -cut to Roman's format. Puppet Roman is standing atop of a winner's podium, holding up a first place trophy. Puppet Logan holds up a silver trophy in second place, and Puppet Virgil stands in third, holding a bronze trophy: both appear unimpressed. Puppet Patton stands to the side holding a participation ribbon, smiling.- in the possibility of becoming the best at something — so that you can leave a legacy, like Shakespeare, or Frida Kahlo, or Bob Ross! They’re remembered for being the best of the best of the best. Like them, you should strive to leave your mark on the world. Or... beyond this world. -Puppet Roman is seen admiring his face carved out of a mountain, like Mount Rushmore. Then Puppet Roman is seen on the moon, holding a flag with his emblem on it- Until you’ve reached the height that you want to reach in life, -cut back- that must be the priority, and your main driving force.

[Logan]: Meaning?

[Roman]: -cut to Roman's format- Meaning some sacrifices must be made. Forget sleep, you could be writing. -cut back- Hanging out with friends? Eh... only specific friends. They can help you on the path to achieving your dreams.

[Thomas]: But what if my dream is to care for my friends?

[Roman]: Then you will care for your friends better than they have ever been cared for in their... entire... LIVES!

[Thomas]: YES!

[Logan]: What you're suggesting is preposterous.

[Roman]: I don’t know the meaning of that word.

[Logan]: It means ridiculous.

[Roman]: Really, that’s what it means? Thank you. I just learned something. But also, you’re wrong! Look at any romantic hero in history. Mary Shelley, Van Gogh, Edgar Allan Poe. If they all failed, it was the world’s fault! They were still regarded as brilliant for their time. Like them, we should cling to our passion and make our existence mean something. -cut to Roman's format- And nothing should be allowed to get in our way. We can’t give up. -cut back- Even when it’s hard. Take, for instance, a visual metaphor of mine own. Say you were in the process of battling a mighty manticore-chimera.

[Thomas]: Ew, what?

[Logan]: Manticores and chimeras are both creatures that are combinations of several animals, and you're putting them both together?

[Roman]: You bet I am. Can you even imagine what it would look like? -cut to Roman's format- So, you’re facing this manticore-chimera, and let’s say you’re wounded. You’ve got a broken leg or something. The beast doesn’t care. It’s not going to let up and you must persevere...

*cut back*

[Logan]: Uh, if you're wounded, then you should probably get out of there, tend to those wounds, and come back to fight again when you're healthy. Also, why would you be fighting such a dangerous fictional beast on your own? Bring other people with you to make the feat easier. What is your obsession with making tasks harder than they need to be? If that's your dream, and then it's purely chimerical.

[Roman]: Well, yes, because there’s a chimera in it.

[Logan]: No, chimerical: existing only as the product of unchecked imagination.

[Roman]: How can you be teaching me so many words, but also be so wrong today? Earlier, I spoke of heroes, artists and people of note, but how about these people of note? Your family.

[Thomas]: My family?

[Roman]: So many of your ancestors took chances, endured hardships, risked their lives for you even to exist today. -cut to Roman's format- Follow in their footsteps. You could very well be what your entire family tree was leading up to. -cut back-Make them proud.

[Thomas]: Wow.

[Logan]: Listen to you. At least when I'm trying to prove my point, I use facts rather than flowery language that lacks any real substance.

[Roman]: Easy, egghead. Over easy. This isn’t just stirring imagery. It’s steeped in truth.

[Logan]: Pardon me while I laugh. Ha. I feel like what you're emphasizing is what you always choose to focus on, whether it be cartoons, romance, or even Thomas' future plans: Fantasy.

[Roman]: Well yeah, Logan. That’s kind of me. It’s kind of my thing.

[Logan]: But why put so much importance on fiction when the world is already as wonderful as it is? Why do you have to keep making things up or dreaming about what could be, rather than appreciating what we do have here and now? You were dropped into this beautiful biosphere. You could be paying attention to it rather than missing it on your quest for high heights. You should read, explore, and learn about the world.

[Roman]: What better way to learn about and appreciate the world than by seizing all it offers to its highest achieving inhabitants? If you do the same thing day in and day out, you will find that your appreciation for this life, has depreciated over time. Like eating your favorite food for every meal of every day. That’s why you need goals.

[Logan]: The goal is the healthiest life that can be achieved.

[Roman]: Yawn, Logan. Uber yawn. Thomas, if you put all your passion behind Logan’s daily regiment, -cut to Roman's format- you will find yourself years from now having whiled away your best days at a boring desk job, wishing for a better, more exciting life. And every day you will ask yourself, "Why didn’t I do more in my life? Why didn’t I just listen to ROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN?!?" -cut back- -still holding on for a few more seconds-

[Logan]: Well, better to be healthy and safe than sick or dead.

[Roman]: ‘Tis better to have risked and lost than never to have risked at all.

[Logan]: He has to be healthy before he can pursue any of the nonsense you're suggesting.

[Roman]: Oh?! So now I’m nonsense? -overlapping- Well, at least I am not a bore, and a snore, times four... eyes!

[Logan]: -overlapping- Ugh, it was such a big mistake bringing you into this conversation at all.

[Roman]: NERD!

[Logan]: PREP!

[Thomas]: Guys, guys, what are your still arguing about?

[Roman]: Uh, um...

[Logan]: We were... discussing... the most important reasons why you do everything that you do.

[Thomas]: Yeah, and it worked.

[Roman]: Wait, what?

[Thomas]: I am pumped up now!

[Logan]: But we- we never decided who—

[Thomas]: Look, both of your arguments had some really strong points. They also each had some weak areas in there. So, of course, the solution is somewhere in the middle. Making sure that I tend to my body and practice healthy habits as best I can will help me each day to make videos that allow me to live properly. And my health and videos are also a way to help me take chances and push forward deeper into the unknown.

[Roman]: That sounds cool.

[Thomas]: Each day is an opportunity to marvel at my daily life AND dream about what’s around the bend. And I shouldn’t let any of that go to waste. Thank you, guys!

[Logan]: You're... You're welcome.

[Roman]: You’re welcome!

[Thomas]: You know, you guys might not think so, but you make a really good team. I’m just saying that right now. It’s good. It’s good.

[Logan]: Well, that's... good to hear. Now be sure to ask for Roman's help with the next game that you create.

[Roman]: H- Uh, thank you for bringing that up. I was honestly a little miffed muffet when I realized he didn’t come to me for assistance on that one.

[Thomas]: Yeah, I’m sorry. I just kinda... spotted my game of Jenga in the corner and then looked down at my shoes. But, actually, you two may have helped come up with a new game for me. It’s gonna require people to write out stories on big construction paper and then act it out using puppetry.

[Roman]: -gasp- I love it. -sinks out-

[Logan]: That sounds more like a puppet show than a game, but sure. -sinks out-

[Thomas]: Yeah, well, we’ll see. -to viewers- It can be fairly common for each one of us to lose our drive, our main reason for going, every now and again. In moments like these, it might be helpful to take stock in our surroundings, remind ourselves of what we hope to achieve, and examine how we conduct ourselves on a daily basis. Small course corrections like these can go a long way to helping us embrace each new day with excitement and hope. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!

*end card*

[Virgil]: -sigh- What you up to over there, Patton?

[Patton]: Oh, I’m just appreciating that big ol’ picture over there.

[Virgil]: It is strangely calming.

[Patton]: I’m glad we made a video today. They make people happy. You know, I think that’s really what it’s all about, really. Just trying to add a little more goodness and light into the world.

[Virgil]: Wow, that is really nice, Patton. Shame that Logan didn’t call you up for that conversation. Seems like you would have made some good contributions.

[Patton]: Well, what are you gonna do? Every dog has its day.

[Virgil]: Patton I... I don’t think that you know what that means.

[Patton]: Well... to each his own.

[Virgil]: Also no.

[Patton]: Hmm. Well, may the force be with you. I dunno.

Transcriptsv · d · e
Season 1 My True Identity! · WAY TOO ADULT · Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!! · A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! · The Dark Side of Disney! · I'M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! · The MIND vs. The HEART! · Alone on VALENTINE'S DAY! · Losing My Motivation · Sanders Sides Q&A · AM I ORIGINAL? · My NEGATIVE Thinking · Growing Up · Making Some Changes! · Becoming a CARTOON! feat. Butch Hartman! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety! · ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?
Season 2 Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!) · MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia · MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup · The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS! · Can LYING Be Good?? · Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · Crofters - THE MUSICAL! Learning New Things About Ourselves · EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas! · Selfishness v. Selflessness · Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS · Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux
Sanders Asides Are There Healthy Distractions? · Flirting with Social Anxiety · Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts
Extras BLOOPER REEL! · Sanders Sides - BEHIND THE SCENES Q&A! · BLOOPER REEL!! The Bloop Strikes Back! · Behind the Scenes Featurette: Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? · 5 Sanders Sides Behind the Scenes Facts (Learning New Things About Ourselves)